A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm just writing this like a message in a bottle. Letting it loose in this sea. We were meant to be married..we bought our rings..but her parents didn't want it. We prayed everyday for it come through. Now shes engaged to another man. I moved 10,000 kms to be close to her. 2 weeks before I was flying my life fell to pieces. Now I'm in this foreign land. No friends no one. I'm lost. "Woke up this morning, won't believe what I saw..a hundred million bottles washed up on the shore..seems like im not alone in being along..a hundred million castaways all looking for a home"
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female
reader, Emajayne  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 I like your whole message in a bottle thing. So why not be the bottle? Just go with the flow and someone will find you in the sand. Make the most of this oportunity to meet some new people, find who you are again. Sometimes being in the same place for years and years isn't a good thing. Change is the best way to inspire the mind. Get a job, get out there and do something. Don't move back home unless you absolutely have to. that would mean the world won and you lost. Not that this is a battle mind u but its all the same really...You could also try and get her back. Unfortunately when u do marry someone u are marrying their family, regardless of what people might say. such as "oh just tell them to bugger off..." or "oh who needs family when youve got companionship!". It doesnt work out that way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Although my British up bringing obviously doesn't make me subjected to forced marriages (or in your case forced unmarriages) and I therefore believe them to be unfair.
However you and your then fiancee respected her parents descision and didn't get married - I'm assuming you respected it =P
She has since moved on with her life. It must've been excruiatingly painful at the time, but now you have to assume shes happy, she said yes to getting married to this other guy so she must be, and now you must move on with yours.
I suggest you move back home, because as you said you know no one, and you don't really want to be there. You can keep in touch with her, obviously, but she has got her own life, and you'll be wasting yours if you stayed there. You'd be clinging onto something that doesn't exist anymore than friendship.
Picture it this way, say you met a friend, just a friend but you had lots of friends and family at home. You wouldn't move 10,000kms to be with the single friend would you!?
Now I know that theres the history, but honestly thats the way it is now.
I suggest though when you do fall in love again, and you will, and you want a future with her. Don't let her go like you did her. I know its not your fault, but try and make a stand. Its your life, future and you need the best life and happiness possible to make the difference to the world that all humans are here for.
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