A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Everyone thinks my bf is perfect! He portrays this Mr Nice Guy act but Im not too sure how REAL that image is. His family think hes a perfect catholic boy who treats women with respect. My family think the same. And my friends, they think hes the best bf ive ever had! Hes a real smoothe talker and a charmer. He knows how to make people like him. And when we are out in public hes lives up to his image. But when we are alone at night he tries forcing me into sex and other sexual activities that I dont want to do, because I want to wait till we are in a serious commited relationship and when we are in love. I tell him to stop but he doesnt listen, he just keeps trying and slowly workng his way in. Hes way stronger then me and I cant push him off me without hurting him. We havent had proper sex but have came so close to it, he ends up listenign to me when I keep saying no and telling him to get off me. I am so confused. I dont know what to think of my bf. Part of me feels like hes a bad guy, but the other part of me thinks thats not possible cause I cant stop hearing people say how perfect they think my bf and saying things like 'oh my god you are soooooooooo lucky you have such a lovely bf! dont let go of this one! hes the perfect catch'. How can a guy seeem so perfect but do that to me?? I feel used and disrespected. I feel like there is something wrong with me because Im not ready to have sex. He wanted ot have sex on our first date too. What are your thoughts? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): ALL HE WANTS IS JUST SEX GET AWAY FROM HIM FAST!!! HE WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): He is everything you see with him, not just everything that others see. You know the truth. It's not your fault that everyone else only sees the cleaned-up presentable side of him. They're not the ones being frightened & abused at night.
...............................
A
female
reader, lifehasnorules  +, writes (4 May 2008):
men want sex..as soon as possible and they won´t hang around for a long time waiting. Men fall in love after the sex and women before or during. Sounds as if you know what you have to do but the outside comments about how perfect he is keep you hanging on with him. Why are you wasting time with a man who is disrespecting you? Tell him to hit the road and don´t let the door hit him on the way out. Then you will see what his game is....is it only the chase and the conquest? You must do WHAT SUITS YOU AND MAKES YOU HAPPY. This guy is too much work. So either you give him what he is after or tell him bye bye. That is your choice.
...............................
A
female
reader, WiccanWonder  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Oh yeah, and remember, tell him that when he is forcing you, its attempted rape, as you dont want to have sex with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Well, for starters, he's not the perfect Catholic guy. If he were, he wouldn't want to force a girl for sex, wouldn't put up a facade, and, last time I checked, the Church frowned on pre-marital sex. And it also frowns in hypocrisy. I do believe he is a sanctimonious person.
In my opinion, you can't evaluate the value of a partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, for what they are for other people or in "society". You determine how good they are for YOU. He's abusive and wants to force you to have sex. What he does in private is perhaps the right measure of what he would be like with you forever.
Why don't you just leave the bastard?
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (4 May 2008):
 This guy is what I would call Wolf in Sheep's clothing. He is Mr Smarm and Charm to the public and a Would be rapist when he is alone with you.Get away from this guy he sounds dangerous and in the end will succeed. He has absolutely no respect for you, and treats your body like HIS POSSESSION. Hun its your body and have a duty to protect yourself. Next time he tries and forces you to have sex, tell him he will find himself in the Copshop being charged with sexual assault.By the sound of him he makes my flesh crawl.
...............................
A
female
reader, rachhbabes +, writes (4 May 2008):
i think he needs to know that its not right to force things on someone. talk to him and tell him your not ready, and you want to wait til you are. if he was a decent guy he would understand and respect that. if not then i dont think he's worth the time.
good luck sweety :)
...............................
A
female
reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (4 May 2008):
Im getting the vibe this guy is a two faced jerk!
Explain to him your veiws and say, i want to wait untill i know im in love/married or whatever your veiw on having sex is... If he doesnt understand that, then dump him! He isnt worth you feeling guilty about!
I hope this helps
good luck
love & Hugs
tasha x
...............................
|
