A
male
age
30-35,
*unatic6205
writes:My girl friend hasnt showed me any signs of being unfaithful but i cant get the thought out of my head that she might cheat. i have gotten pissed before when she talked to her guy friends at the beginning of our relationship which was almost seven months ago and she stopped. i dropped all the female friends i was talking to when i got with her and i couldnt understand why giving up her guy friends was a problem. Any ways she never knows when i guy is hitting on her and never notices all the guys i see checking her out so i worry when im not around her. i guess im insecure. i am an extremely jealous guy and i hate when my girlfriend hugs other guys it pisses me off to the point that i want to beat them into a coma. i dont like thinking about her pressing her body against theirs. i also hate that she is in a college class that has mainly guys in it and has to be partnered up with some of them for projects and has to call or text them for info on the project im always there when she does it and she gives me her phone to read the messages but it still pisses me off that she has their numbers i think if she didnt want me to know something she talked about with them she would erase it before i looked at it. but i know she isnt like that but part of me wont let it go. it really pisses me off that in her class which is a cooking class her chef/ teacher might make her learn to tango and it would most likely be with another dude. i just want to know how i can get rid of all these thoughts and jealousy because i love her very much and dont want to push her away so far im not but i dont want to take any chances she means too much to me. anyone have any advice for me?
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female
reader, megan martin +, writes (11 May 2010):
my god dude! Lay off the prtection if you really love her and trust her you will trust that she wont cheat! if ur really that worried break up with her or have talks with her! ur really insecure! if u love her then u should trust her to make the right decision she probably thinks of that with u! (unless she is normal and isnt that protective and insecure!) if u dont stop it i think she could have reasons to break up with you cause ur so annoyingly protective!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 You have to understand that in healthy relationships few have the desire to cheat. If she cheats on you, it's a problem of her personal integrity. You are still worthy of love and attractive to many women. She hasn't shown any signs of being unfaithful while you are entertaining yourself with thoughts of her doing stuff behind your back. It's a kind of obsessive compulsion. You generate your own thoughts. Thoughts don't come to you and disturb your mind. You are doing all this to yourself. Rather than trying to get rid of thoughts, try to be aware of the peaceful gaps in between thoughts and widen them. When you practice being centered you will notice very quickly once a thought begins to bother you. Just say stop. What you are imagining isn't real, it's illusional so you can't get rid of it like it's an object.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Jealousy is possessive and controlling love . You need to love her without expecting anything in returns. That is the highest form of love.
You need to trust her and accept that if you are meant to be together, nothing will ever stop you from being together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Hello,We've all experienced some jealousy at some point in our lives. However, as you've admitted yours is more extreme. When someone feels smothered and can't be who they are they may begin to resent you. I'm assuming she knows your jealous and that's why she shares her texts messages with you to ensure nothing is transpiring. She seems trustworthy and if nothing has happened in the past with her cheating then you have to trust her. Trust is vital in any relationship. If something bothers you (within reason og course) tell her I dislike you hugging other males can you please not do that anymore?All in all this is about your insecurity and you need to work on it. Instead of drawing her close you can be pushing her away. Good luck;D
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