A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Before this current relationships i was in a long standing relationship of over a year and we were engaged but things didn't work out. Now about a year after that relationship i met an AMAZING girl that i'm crazy about ,but one problem is that. Well it seems like i might have talked too much about my old girlfriend even though it's a year ago she still feels like i still love the other girl is there anything i can do to comfort her to reassure her that she's not a "Rebound" girlfriend?
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I went through the same thing many years ago when I was 34. My girlfriend and I both realized that we had to take things very slowly to make sure that I wasn't doing the same thing as you girlfriend is afraid of. She had an unconventional method of dealing with it. She didn't want to lose me, so she wanted me to date others for 2 or 3 years so that I would know if I really wanted her after I had a chance to compare her to other women. She was my first after my divorce from my first wife of 11 years. However, I'm not suggesting this at all. Like I said that is not the norm.
I think that you first have to make sure that you are not in a rebound relationship in your mind. After a while, I realized that I was probably doing that. We waited over 4 years before we decided to live together and another 2 before we got married to make sure that we weren't making a mistake. I really don't have any suggestions how you can convince her. You just have to take things slowly to make sure. It's difficult to know yourself. I can see why she is worried. My wife certainly was. She had the time after her divorce to "test te waters" so it was just a matter of making sure that I had the time and experiences also. We both believe that it would have been a disaster if I hadn't done that.
Think about where you are now yourself. Think hard and don't try to fool yourself just because you have found someone who you think is special. Make sure that your feelings are real.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 I was saying that in jest! The only way that you can prove your intent is through your consistency. Just be honest, loving and straightforward. I wouldn't go so far as to indulge her and let her become compulsive and paranoid about this issue either. There's nothing worse than a clingy girlfriend. Just be straight with her and by all means, but let her know when she is being ridiculous. She'll take her cue from you and drop it. Be straight with her.
And while we're on the subject, be straight with yourself too. If she is picking up on something that you are in denial about, don't put it all on her. Could that be possible?
Good luck with everything, hope it all works out for you two.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (11 June 2008):
Marry her! LOL!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): Well if you're talking about her constantly, are you sure she's not a rebound? That's a sign of a rebound. If you are true to yourself about whether you're over your ex or not, then just let her be reassured. I've disliked being told about girls ex's, it's a real turn of.
...............................
|
