A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:This question is really important. I dont know what to do anymore. I have a best friend. He found someone who he liked and he started hanging round with him lots and sold me out for him who was soon his lover. I still stood by him and was always there for him even tho he left me. When he is feeling depressed I want to help despite everything hes put me through. various reasons. But he doesn't want anything to do with me. Iv tried 2 help. He also wrote on a question that he had one friend and he sold him out and this was the other person. He didnt mention me and im ment to be his best friend. He is now ignoring me on msn when i try to hard to make him realise i care for him so much. This is killing me how hes making me feel. I care so much about him and i also get upset with him being upset. But i cant do anything I have really tried. I dont wanna loose him I love him so much and im scared. Cos if he dunt wanna speek 2 me about this.. what will he speek 2 me about. Help me please
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Now I'm really confused. You wrote in your post:
" I still stood by him and was always there for him even tho he left me."
"But he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"He is now ignoring me on msn..."
So are you currently best friends? Are you talking? I'm afraid I don't understand.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe are friends thats the thing. were best friends. we go out and hes even said hes my best friend. but doesn't aqnowledge me in these situations :/
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 August 2008):
It's a little hard to understand everything you wrote, but I think I have the gist of it.
You have essentially gone through an ugly 'break up' with a friend, and he is completely ignoring you now. He chose another one over you and doesn't show any signs of changing his mind or apologizing. You extended yourself to try to help him.
I hate to say this, but I think you are now flogging a dead horse. He has demonstrated through words and action that he is not a friend to you, at least not anymore. Sometimes people do fall out, and do stop being friends. I think that this is one of those times. If you try to pursue this relationship, I think that you will only meet with more rejection or complete avoidance of you.
I'm afraid you're going to have to chalk this one in the 'lost' column. You can't force someone to change, you cannot make them like you. You can only alter your own behavior, and I think you may have made yourself a willing doormat. Just because you do things for someone without their asking doesn't mean they are going to reciprocate. That's not nice, of course, but there are people who will take advantage of someone who offers too much of themselves.
Let him go, don't try to talk to him or reach him. You've done what you can, so hold your head up high and walk away. Learn from this and don't allow yourself to be a doormat again. Talk with your other friends about this and see if they have some suggestions on how you might demonstrate this doormat tendency and perhaps they can warn you if you do this with another person.
And reflect on this situation as a possible repeat of a relationship you had in the past. Maybe with a parent? Or a sibling or another close friend? If it's not going to turn out well, you might as well learn from it so you don't suffer the same treatment again.
Hope this helps, take care!
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