A
male
age
30-35,
*quarmarine
writes:Hi, I know this may sound like I'm fighting a losing battle, but I would love some advice.The other night I had a one night stand with my first ever girlfriend who I broke up with 10 years ago. She is incredibly loyal, lovely with a big heart, sometimes gets anxious, and sometimes seems a bit wild when she goes out.She admitted after I broke up with her it gave her several months of angst. I regretted breaking up with her, but we were very young. She's had a few very long term relationships since, some of which I think abused her, but I know at the moment she is looking for someone. I think deep down she is looking for someone to settle with and ground her. She often meets a lot of guys who proclaim their love or even propose to her very early on and it scares her off or she doesn't take it seriously. I myself, have been out with several people, I've been in love etc. But I've always felt something special for her, even after all this time.We slept together after a night out, and she was happy to walk hand in an hand with me down the street the next morning and even kiss me in public. She seemed really keen on reigniting things after so many years and was enthusiastic about seeing me again, but it might have been just the drink talking.But the day after, I tried to arrange a meet. She always seems so hard to talk on Facebook, I feel like I'm bothering her. I said I enjoyed our chemistry the other night, and wanted to meet with no pressure to see if we can put up with each other when we're sober. She said 'wouldn't it be digging into the past?' but I said we could just go for a drink, make each other laugh with no pressure, just see if we've still got a spark. She still seemed keen on meeting, but not until the following week. I assume she's just putting me off, she has been enthusiastic before but no meets have come into fruition For someone who says they wear their heart on their sleeve, she's not given much heart, so I'm not optimistic. I am not naive in thinking that something will become of this, especially after a one night stand, she will probably forget about even meeting. All I know is I have liked for years, and I think we could be really good for each other. It felt she liked me again too after all this time, but I'm thinking it was just for the one-off. I don't want to mess up this opportunity as I genuinely like her as the person I know she is deep down.I wondered if I do get to meet up with her, what do I do? Where do I take her? How do I prove to her I do like her, without scaring her off ? And how can I maintain attraction in the mean time?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): If you feel like you still have something to take off your chest,then do it. Want her company, face her. Say everything out loud (or type it down if necessary). Then go with the flow. If she's also keen to continue and grow it out,then she'll do it,no grudges being held(she'll fight them off). And if she's still in the past (that means she's scarred),she will break down after a few weeks or will keep avoiding you in the first place,no matter how hard you try to get her back. In that case, you need to move on. Whatever happens,just let it happen. But try to express your true feelings towards her though. And by doing that,you will be able to help yourself too. Wishing you the best:-)
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