A
female
age
41-50,
*iamondgal
writes:Hello Everyone!Boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. Last weekend, he said things to me that really broke my spirit and was very hurtful.We were getting intimate and he said that I was the only woman who's never made him come, and he normally comes easily and that I suck.He also said, when I asked, that I'm not the best girlfriend he's ever had. That his ex is better. They had been together five years, until she cheated with one of his friends.When those things were brought up, he asked if he should like just to pacify me.Said that I'm making a bigger deal of it then what it is. When I asked to name at least one thing about me that he likes better, he said that the one thing is that I'm easier to talk to. When pressed more about it, he said that he is never going to be honest with me again. "I'm the best relationship ever!"What are your thoughts or opinions on this? Especially guys. Thank you!
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (26 November 2015):
Has he left behind any DNA as proof that you've made him come? I find his statement a little difficult to believe.
Why would he say such things? He does so because he is a child looking to boost his own ego by decimating yours. He is selfish and hurtful, and there is little chance that he'll change his ways. He is just too immature for you. Do yourself a favor...drop this guy and find a grown-up.
A
female
reader, diamondgal +, writes (26 November 2015):
diamondgal is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you, everyone! Your very thoughtful, insightful and wise advise was confirmation of what I needed to do. I let him know that we are not meant for each other and that we should move one.
Your wise advice could have saved me from more heartbreak.
Thank you very much! GOD bless!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2015): His ex girlfriend had a lucky escape. I suggest you leave him to find another victim. He is certainly not a boyfriend to be proud of.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): I would walk out of the door and never ever come back. You aren't over reacting, you're under acting by not immediately dumping him.
That's probably one of the rudest things I've heard a boyfriend say to somebody. Did you ask him all of these questions out of the blue or did he just say all this?
Why does he think some cheat is better than you? What an a hole.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (25 November 2015):
 My attitude in relationships is that you should be more polite to your partner than to anyone else. And that if you don't having something nice to say, don't say anything at all. If sex was important to me, rather than saying "you suck" I'd either give gentle suggestions for improvement, or I would end the relationship.
You choose who you want in your life. If you accept crass rudeness, that's your choice. But men are plentiful -- why not choose one who lifts you up rather than tearing you down?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 November 2015):
 Why are you with this A-hole?
He seems to have absolutely no appreciation for you, so I'd let him go and do that gladly!
There is being honest, and then there is being cruel. He is being the latter.
Cut him lose, cut him off.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (25 November 2015):
 Why is this guy with you? If he thinks that a cheating woman is the perfect GF, then why are you with him? Even if he thought that you had the potential, getting that potential to come true does not involve put downs like he is blasting you with?
Go no contact on him. Find a man with whom you will have a mutually satisfying relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (25 November 2015):
 Deal breaker.
OP, this really doesn't deserve further discussion. What he did was beyond the pale.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (25 November 2015):
 Sometimes in a relationship we ask questions that we probably shouldn't because we don't get the answer that we want. This is what happened to you. You asked, he answered truthfully and you didn't like the answers. Rule of thumb for the future is don't ask if you can't handle the truth.
I'm not being harsh on you, your boyfriend is a jerk. He didn't have to be so cruel but he was. He could have at least said something to make you feel better..but he didn't.
Drop him. He's a jerk. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): Do not play the role of his savior. Poor guy, his perfect girlfriend has cheated on him and dumped him. Boo-hoo.Have you ever wondered why she dumped him? Has he?Well, from what you're saying he's not only NOT PERFECT, he's a real torturer.The things he said were said ON PURPOSE and they are supposed to make you feel bad. They are supposed to make you feel as if you are second best and that you should be grateful that somebody like him is with you. That you should do better, of course, do everything you can to please him.Dump him. It'll only get worse.First of all, what is he doing with you if he's not attracted to you? Well, for one thing, he's using you to solve his fear of being alone. So better with someone like you than with no one.Do you want to hold his hand (and take hi sh*t) while he's waiting (and maybe even looking) for something better to come along so that he can dump you?Secondly, if he's having problems with achieving orgasm, there is a proper way to talk about it without blaming anyone. He could be having some issues and blaming it on you; Not very nice, is it? If he's really not that into you... go back to the above question - what is he doing with you?It is a BIG DEAL what he said to you. Honestly, you can say something (if you are not a bad person) only to a clingy girlfriend your're trying to get rid of.I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but would you ever do something like that to him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): You should never ask questions if you can't handle the answer. Why'd you ask? Did you want the truth? Or did you want him to lie?
He's a jerk for saying you can't make him cum. I would dump him and find a nicer guy.
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