A
female
age
41-50,
*he Poster
writes:I'm a male virgin, but I want to loose my virginity to someone. I've read numerous books on dating and charisma and conversational skills. I've even read books on sexual techniques. My only concern is lasting a "respectable" time with someone I really like. Is there any way to build stamina before you have sex or stop yourself from prematurely ejaculating out of excitement? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mark25  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Because you're worrying about how to delay you're actually increasing the chances of it happening. It's a vicious circle. The thing is you need to stop worrying and reading the books. Concentrate on pleasing your partner. When you're in a relationship you can overcome any problems that you face, together. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine.
A
female
reader, The Poster +, writes (9 August 2008):
The Poster is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all again. Sorry about the redundant question; I actually searched for, and put in my title, stamina. The wise mods changed it in all their wisdom.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (8 August 2008):
 In my opinion, you are worried about something that has not occurred, and like many young men (me included but it was long ago), the problem you may have the first time is finishing at all. This is often due to nervousness, being uncomfortable and unsure, and too much apprehension. My advice would be to just do your best naturally, don't over-study or obsess about it - then deal with any future problems should they arise.
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A
male
reader, Saleem  +, writes (8 August 2008):
I have found that taking deep breaths to help slow your heart rate helps me stay in there for a few extra minutes..not much but it helps...
If you have a fun and understanding partner she wouldn't mind you washing off and getting back in if you can..if not then take a quick nap and start over and believe me you would last 5times longer..
please remember to use protection btw condoms do help ALOT in lasting longer..
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (8 August 2008):
OK, if you know your way around a library and how to use a search engine, check out the topic "premature ejaculation".There are supposed to be things a couple can do - "reading" each others' arousal and backing off the stimulation - pressure-points that can postpone an orgasm or kill an erection (without being painful, that is!) etc.There's one problem: These are all things that COUPLES do TOGETHER for EACH OTHER in a RELATIONSHIP. As far as I can tell, you're mostly interested in having sex with just "someone". In your situation, the best advice might be to practice with a knot-hole in the fence.Here's the serious answer. What you describe is a characteristic of most guys until they're 30 years old or so. It's not a "problem" unless a couple allows it to be a problem. Don't worry about your first time. You will almost certainly orgasm too soon. If your partner is experienced, she will likely think it's cute. If she understands your physiology and, out of love and consideration, wants to spare your embarrassment she will help you to orgasm before you try penetration. (And you will not fight it.) You will be ready to go again in 10 - 20 minutes, during which time she will become more ready to receive you.If your first partner is not experienced your quickness will be only one of many things for you two to learn from and improve. For my virgin wife, my rapid orgasm was a welcome and merciful end to a physically painful experience.Most guys find it more difficult to orgasm when they are on their backs.Many young couples use the pattern my wife and I used in our early marriage. She would help me - with her mouth and hands - to a quick climax before our main lovemaking. This might even be a couple of hours beforehand, or early in the foreplay. Then we made love. Relieved of the immediate pressure, I could more easily concentrate on pleasuring her. By the time she had her preliminary orgasms I was quite ready to go again, and we would start intercourse.But once again - these are things we worked out as a couple, not just "somebody" chosen as a partner.
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A
female
reader, The Poster +, writes (8 August 2008):
The Poster is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice, especially Natasha.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 August 2008):
 mine wasn't lousy ; )
another tip: do it 1st time with the girl on top...
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (8 August 2008):
 About the best thing you can do is to concentrate on your partner. If she's so excited by what you're doing to her body, if she's absolutely ready before you enter her, then she'll be happy that it's a short ride. And then 30 minutes later (or 15 [grin]) you can do it again.
Whatever you do, don't put so much pressure on yourself. We all had a first time, and it was almost 99% lousy. It's like anything else, it takes practice to be good at it. Just make sure you're with someone you can laugh with. It will be a lot more fun if there is laughter involved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): For a start I think you need to get out of the library and into the world so that you can interact with people rather than books!
You WILL come quickly the first time, I absolutely guarantee it. But like natasia says, give it half an hour, have another go and you'll last longer the second and subsequent times.
However, first you've got to get dating and find yourself a soulmate - you won't get one of them from a book!
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 August 2008):
I don't think so. Apart from counting to 100 or doing your 6 times table or looking at something boring on the wall. But really, why would you want to restrain yourself? Why not have an orgasm, then focus on your partner, then be ready to go again? I wouldn't worry about it. Any man at the start of a relationship often finds that he wants to ejaculate quickly (so I've heard ; ). As you get more used to your partner you'll be able to last longer!
Don't even think about it. I wouldn't.
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