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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have gone though hell!Ater 23 years of marriage I found out my husband was secretly meeting a younger woman who was previously a lesbian for walks and hitting on her a year and a half later I feel like I've had no closure and am as miserable as when I first caught them!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): If you cant accept it then consider a seperation. you need to decide how badly you want him and if so then you need to make peace with his infidelity.
There other woman who are stronger and independent and will kick his sorry a** on the street and find someone that can be faithful.
You need to decide which category you fall into and also to try and make a fresh start or you will be only hurting yourself.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Are you still with him? Did you divorce him? Have you gone through counselling? By "closure", do you mean you left him?
I think we could use more information before giving you the best advice, especially on the matter of whether you've left the guy or not.
What *IS* closure in this case, anyways? If you caught them cheating, your decision on how to proceed *IS* the closure. If you're still with him, then working things out with him and getting counselling is closure. If you divorced him, then the court decree is your closure. If you separated but are still married, then divorce him and that will be closure.
The problem is that you will have to live with the fact that he did this. Your ego wants vindication, wants resolution. You constantly think of what it was that made him cheat, and whether or not he'll see the error of his ways.
Sometimes, we get no such absolution and have to find it within ourselves. He cheated because he's a selfish cheater, and when cheating occurs, all blame on the other person is a cheap copout. Come to grips that your husband is a cheating dog and decide that you're going to have to take ownership of the next phase of your life.
Why would you put your life on hold because of his actions? Isn't that insult to injury? You moving on and making your life much better *IS* its own closure and vindication. You do not need him to validate you.
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