A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am an expat from the UK in Austria. Last weekend, I played rugby 2 hours away from home and we won quite well.After the game, a girl who lives in that city came and talked to me as I was walking back to the dressing room. She was complimenting me on how well I played, and that it was obvious I had played for a very long time. I was a bit tired to really be 100% engaged with her.We spoke for 20-25 mins, which was really good. She then invited me to come with her and her team to a rugby match this weekend where famous former players will be playing. However, due to work and train scheduling, it looks like i cannot make it. I am also not sure of going to be with her and the other guys who i do not know!She asked for my number as well which I gave her. I do not want to seem like i rejected her. In a few weeks however, there is a weekend where i know i am free and there are many international games on. She had said that she wanted to watch more games live on TV, and i was thinking of saying i could visit her and we could watch them in a bar there. Possibly have a meal as well and get to know her more.Do you think that her coming up to me as i was walking alone is a sign of her being interested in me and that she also voluntarily invited me to the match this weekend a sign of it?How can I also propose to her my idea to meet in a few weeks time, as I do not want to sound too pushy, but to also show her that i really do want to meet her again.Any help would be great! Cheers.
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (7 October 2014):
Asking a girl out is not pushy. If you feel the need to ask this question the likelihood of you being pushy is probably zero.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): If everything you do is going to show a response to her flirtations, nothing you do is too pushy. She went out of her way to get to you.
If the attractions is mutual, surely you should let her know. Everything you've planned is weeks off, so how can anything you do seem "pushy?" You gave her your number and she used it, she gave you compliments about your game; being that bold certainly indicates a lady likes you. She didn't seem shy about making her way to you. Now return the favor!
Be cautious about forming a long-distance relationship. People always think they can keep them up, and they just become stressful with a lot of drama-filled emotional complications. The only danger is that she'll get attached to you, and your travels and demands of your sport will keep her pressuring you for attention. The distraction will effect your game performance, and the neglect will hurt her feelings. I'm sure the ladies will encourage you go for it. There are practical matters to be considered. Emotion tells us to throw caution to the wind, but doing that has consequences. Whatever you do, be mindful of her feelings.
Use your male logic to make sure you don't break a heart.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (7 October 2014):
Phone her up and say words along the lines of"Hi it was really good to meet you the other day. Sorry I can't make xxx (the event she invited you to) but can I make it up to you by inviting you to xxxx with me"Don't worry about being pushy for just suggesting it. Asking a girl out on a date soon after meeting her isn't pushy. Pushy is not taking no for an answer or pressuring a girl to accept.In fact, I think it's better if a guy asks out a girl he's interested sooner rather than later. Waiting too long can send out the signal that you're not really interested except when you're at a loose end occasionally.If the event you want to invite her to is 3 weeks away, I think you should also ask her to something sooner than that if you can both fit it in. If she's interested in you (and it certainly sounds like she might be) she won't think it's pushy just if you ask her.
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