| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi im 18 and I need some advice as to how i can help my boyfriend. For the last 2 weeks my boyfriend has changed. i think he is experiencing depression - i come to this conclusion as i have depression myself and i have been learning about it in my psychology A Level.these are his symptoms that he has told me:1. he is always feeling tired2. he wants to sleep all day3. he has lost interest he thinks he enjoys. he doesnt want to play football ever again.4. he has stopped going to uni5. he doesnt want to go to work6. he said that he has been feeling depressedhe says it has been getting worse and that he wants to be happy again but he doesnt know what to do.im really worried for him as i know how hard depression is. i want to help him as much as i can. He says that i make him happy but sometimes what he feels doesnt let him be happy. i have told him that i will always be here for him because he is the most important person. i told him that talking about it helps but he says he doesnt want to talk. i know i have to take this slow - he has talked about some of it with me.when i went through a really bad stage in my depression i didnt tell anyone for about a year and that made it so much worse. i know what it feels like and how hard it is to tell someone about it.im just really worried about him, i dont like seeing him sad. i want him to be happy always. he is 27 and the difficult thing is that we are in a long distance relationship, we have been in one for 2 months. i dont think it has anything to do with the LDR because we have always been in LDR but that should change soon.so any advice you have as to how i can help him will be really appeciated.thank you
View related questions:
depressed, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Don't even try love. He needs a Dorctors help and possibly some counselling. Don't put yourself in the place of 'rescuer'. Its not a good place to go - you will spend the rest of your life rescuing him - trust me I've been there. Until you let him fall he won't hit rock bottom and get the help he needs, really needs. You're not that help, its much deeper and involved than that and will bring you down with it if you don't get out of the way. Although it may sound harsh, its the kindest thing you can do and will help him to get well much quicker than any other thing you will try to do for him. You obviously love him. Love him enough to get out of the way and let him find his own way. The other way will lead you deeper into trouble. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 November 2009):
He is depressed. First of all, he needs to see a doctor. The doctor can then decide what course of action should be taken (therapy, antidepressents or both).
Secondly, and more importantly, you have to remember that know matter how much you love him, you are not responsible for making him happy or making him better. A person who is depressed (as you will know), has to want to get out of depression for themselves and be ready to face the cause of it. Can you look back over the past few months and see if anything has made him change?
Be there as a girlfriend, listen to him and be patient. But don't try to cure it for him, it won't work. He needs to face it himself.
...............................
|
