A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Needing a bit of help here. I've been with a really wonderful guy for just over 2 months now and everything is going very well. I'm crazy about him and he makes me feel so special. He phones me every evening, we meet up and go for walks through the parks and although I am not in love with him, I am definately going that way. Before i was with him, I had a whole string of really bad relationships which all came to an end, one way or another, because the man lied to me about something. There was the one who turned out to be married. The one who turned out to just want me for sex. And the one who turned out to only be after me for my lifestyle and not actually me. This lead to me having some pretty bad paranoia issues with men hiding things from me and my new guy is aware of this and comforts and calms me down whenever I get stressed which definately makes things better. I trust him 100% and this is nothing to do with trust, more to do with my own paranoias, but I keep getting scared about him and his best friend, who is a girl. I know there is nothing between them, thats not the problem. The problem is I overthink things and worry myself what if he leaves me for her. It's making me so scared and I know it's complete nonsense and need to know how to stop myself.I've never shared any of this with my guy. He sees his best friend oftn and they spend a lot of time together - but he has cancelled time with her to be with me. His facebook is full of pictures of them laughing and joking which I know is all normal for best friends. I'm also aware I'm being a bit hypocritical here because one of my best friends is a guy and we spend a lot of time together too and my guy doesn't complain about that! I'm just paranoid due to past experiences. I'm also a little insecure. I don't have a problem with how I look - I'm 5ft and quite slim, but shes like a super model with long legs and platinum blond hair and a sun tan. Shes the opposite of me and where as I know it must be me my bf fancies otherwise why would he be with me?, but I still get scared and ask myself "what if he starts to fancy her instead of me?"I need help in getting over this as I dont want to ruin what is otherwise a perfect relationship. How can I get over paranoias from past relationships and stop worrying about him and his female best friend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): I'm diagnosed post traumatis stress idsorder for seperate reasons, so yes I am clinically paraoid.
A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (10 June 2009):
 All I can say is that unless you have been diagnosed with the condition then you haven't got paranoia. You are just very insecure and there is little you can do to stop this. Your relationships from the past do seem very traumatic but this is not to stop you from being happy in the relationship you are in now.
Your insecuritites will make you vunerable and have you considered going to see a phychologist as they will help you overcome this!
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