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male
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anonymous
writes:How can I stop the tears from falling? How can I get her out of my head? How could she cheat on me when all I did was love her? She was my world and now she has gone. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Charlotte, but I don't think you are replying to the correct question here
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Look you need to realise that you aren't to blame for this and that it is their loss for both losing you! It's normal for you to feel this way and to constantly cry, but it will go away! No-one deserves what they have done, but just remember you are the one who has the beautiful baby boy and that you can get over this, you just have to give youself time. I would say try not to think about it but obviously you are going to, just hold your head up high and don't let them see that they have got to you because then they have won, the more you show that you are moving on with your life the more he'l want you back, and when he does come running you can stick to fingers up and tell him where to go! honestly there's hundreds of women in your position! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! p.s there's no explanation for why people do things like this...their just weirdos!! from Charlotte. 17
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much. I did agree to take her back on the condition she she finished the other guy and tried to show a bit more love. She said she was going to finish him and said she would try her very best.
Then she acted completely like I wasnt there. Ignoring me, just saying oh right when I was saying how I feel.
I said, forget the chance then, you are obviously not interested. She said, Ok then, but I do love you.
I am gonna do much better, she has made me realise that she has never really considered my feelings and is just playing games. I told her I wanted her out of my life, then she said ok then, I will talk to you tonight on MSN if you're on. I have got to go. Then hung up. I just look back and laugh when I think how stupid I was. No more tears for me.
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female
reader, beautifulxxbrunette08 +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Well, it is her loss. Her putting you through this torture is very selfish on her part. If all you ever did was love her, then that is all you can do. For some people it just isn't enough. You have to find positive things in the situation, I know it sounds crazy, and with this situation there might not be a lot of positive things, but still, you have to find happiness in life, and know that there are so many people out there, and somewhere out there is a woman who will love you forever and treat you the way you should be treated. Love is a wonderful thing. You will K N O W when a LoVe is FoReVeR!
Best wishes!
XoXo
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe wants to get back with me, but is not really willing to dump this other guy. She says he has done nothing wrong so it is unfair to dump him. She says that she would like an open relationship, so she can stay with us both.....just as long as I dont go with anybody else.
She wants me to have just her, while she keeps me and him. I dont think so.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): sounds to me like your the one finishing the relationship. so get over yourself, if you loved her so much and shes told you she hasnt done anything then what is this whole post about? i dont get it?
honestly i think when she first cheated i made you paranoid and from the misunderstanding it brought up htis paranoia and now your the one whos finished it.
so make your mind up.. do you want it to finish or not?
because it sounds like you need to make the decision...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I am truly sorry for your pain. Love sometimes hurts us deeply. People cheat on their lovers for a variety of reasons -- sometimes there's just something missing from the relationship and they seek to find it elsewhere. It doesn't mean you failed in any way; it could be that she simply needed something you could not provide, or she just wasn't ready for a serious thing. You deserve better and you will find it. Have hope. Time heals all wounds and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Be strong. This too shall pass and you will find love again. In the meantime, surround yourself with friends and family who love and appreciate you. Focus your energies on work, or school or take up a hobby you've always wanted to pursue. Then when you least expect it, your heart will feel better and you will find love again. I wish you the best.
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reader, Seratuki  +, writes (8 December 2006):
 You say she wants you back...then what is the issue here?
She accepted a date with anothher guy..that was wrong of her..but you were just as mean tearign up her letter...you pushed HER away and now you're boo-hooing over it?
Come on now!
If you want her back go talk to her and stop playing the victim!
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (8 December 2006):
 Cry me a river. . . .
Now, here's my prescription for your ailment:
Day 1: Get off your duff and go outside and enjoy the fresh air . . . take in the world around you. It's the holiday season. Go volunteer to raise money for people less fortunate than you, so they can know the spirit of Christmas. Buy someone that you don't even know a Christmas present and place it on their doorstep. Join the Salvation Army. They need good people. Join a caroling group. Spend the evening at a soup kitchen dishing out food. When you're good and tired, go home and go to bed.
Day 2. Repeat Day 1. Repeat every day until the end of the month. By the end of the month you'll be ready for the new year with a new perspective. Your life will be so full of love, you won't know what hit you.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShould read *We WERE in a long distance relationship*
I will never move on, that is an impossibility.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll yesterday and today, I have lay on my bed in floods of tears. I havent eaten nothing since yesterday morning. Basically every song makes me think of her, every little sound. All the good memories keep running through my head.
She cheated early in the relationship and I eventually took her back. We worked loads of issues out together and things were brilliant between us.
We are in a long distance relationship and she hated the fact she only saw me around once a month. I would visit her area and stay for a few days. We had wonderful times, running on the beach, feeding the ponies and just sitting by the river cuddling. The times I spent with her were the best days of my life. She needed to feel the closeness and we eventually started to bicker and she was saying the distance was a big problem for her. Anyway, after our argument she assumed I had finished her.
Next day, there was a guy who asked her out at college and she accepted his offer. I had phoned her many times that day and she was very distant with me. I knew something was wrong. Finally she told me that she thought we were over completely and moved on. She has even said she doesnt like this other guy and has asked me to take her back. I lied and said I was with sombody else and I deserve better than her. She got really jealous and said she was hurt.
She wrote me a letter saying she would love me forever. She gave it to me the last time I visited her. I tore it up in front of her (via webcam and MSN) and she got upset saying the letter obviously meant nothing to me. I called her cheeky and said that she is complaining about me tearing a letter after what she done to me.
She swears she hasn't kissed the guy or anything and said she wants me back. Not once did she mention dumping him and trying to prove to me.
The more I think about her, the more I hate her, but the more I hate her, the more I know I am still madly in love with her. That is what hurts. I think I will take all my feelings to the grave.
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reader, AngelofLove +, writes (8 December 2006):
 Try to stay strong, you are a special person who deserves to be loved. Give yourself time to move on and remember that it is not your fault. Please forget this person that hurt you so.
Hope you find someone soon. Lots of hugs xxx
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female
reader, Nikita +, writes (8 December 2006):
 I really feel for you. Its the worst thing in the world when you love someone and they betray you. The feeling of hurt you're experiencing wont just go away overnight. its gonna take time and you have to work through your feelings. You may feel awful now but it will get better. Ive been there and i know how you feel. You imagine nothing will take the pain away and that you couldn't possibly cry anymore but eventually you start to feel better about things until one day you'll wake up and it wont sting so much anymore. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say and it is true. I dont know why she did this to you but you need your friends at a time like this. Be with them and talk to them and they'll get you through this. You will come out the other side. Hope everything turns out okay for you. Take carexx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I'm so sorry to hear that you've been betrayed like that. Right now, the best thing to do is just go with it. Grieve for the relationship, and the person you loved.
The truth is that we can't really control other people or predict what they will do. Some people never cheat, and others do. It wasn't anything you did that made her do this.
Give yourself time to feel all of the things you're feeling. Lots of guys like to jump straight back in to socialising and partying, but this doesn't always work as the feelings are still there. Try not to see this girl for a week or two until you are feeling stronger in yourself. If you have close friends, talk to them about it over the next couple of weeks. Maybe they can help you to make sense of it all.
I hope that you can someday find someone who deserves to be with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): i am so sorry to here this i just got dumped to and feel like im never going to stop crying but it happend to me 4 months ago but im starting to feel a little better now you need to do all the crying get angrey and pick yourself up i know what your going throught and i really feel for you but please dont do what i was doing dont beet your self up over this i did it for long enought and it got me no were just made me moor sad and hurt get out and try your hardest to have fun i know you dont feel like this now but try it will help in the long run she cheeted on you did she give that a second thought no so she not wort it is she i know you love her but if she loved you she would not have done this would she.if you feel like you want her back then thats up to you i took back my husband he said he never do it again and after six years here i am again so try not to put yourself back here please im so sorry for the pain your going throught all my love hope it helped xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): Can you tell us a bit more? Sorry, i know it might be hard but how did she leave?
When a relationship comes to an end, especially in a tough situation then you have to go through all the hurt to come out the other side a better person. Honestly it does work, you will feel really rubbish at first but time does heal. It is like going through a bereavement.
Get back in touch and let us know what has happened. It might make you feel better to discuss it.
Take care
xxx
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