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How can I console my friend who is a cheated-on wife?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2007)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

A good friend of mine just told me that her husband has been having an affair for some time now and this past weekend she discovered the whole thing. He moved out!

She’s so heart broken and she’s crying ALL the time. They’ve been married for 5 years and I’ve never been through this. I really want to help her feel better, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to talk about it because she starts crying, but I don’t want to seem cold either. How can I console a cheated wife?

Do i buy her something? What?

View related questions: affair, moved out

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntListening is the best gift you can give her. She needs to get all the crying and talking about it out of the way before she can move on. The best friends are willing to just sit in silence and listen even if the tears make them feel uncomfortable. Give her a hug. When she's starting to feel a little better start taking her out. It doesn't have to be far or for long but the danger in these situations is that the person doesn't want to leave the house in case they run into someone they know and have to explain what happened. You don't say if she has kids but if she does, and only if she does, encourage her to try and be strong for them. Tell her she can fall apart in front of you as much as she likes but she has to be strong for the kids. Hope all of this helps.

CD

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (1 February 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntI think the best thing is just to listen. She probably wants to vent her anger and frustration. In time, you could offer to take her to a spa, or to get a makeover. Something to make her feel better about herself. When she's ready to face the world again, she may want to go dancing or take a cruise.

Mostly, just be supportive.

Good luck!

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