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How can I boost my confidence and lose the nervous before this first date?

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Question - (19 November 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ock chic writes:

Hi. I have a date this week with this drop dead gorgeous man who i met online, Im sooo nervous I'm even thinking of cancelling!

I've had dates before but I am so shy its cringeworthy, i just don't have any confidence!

I really like him and I would love for us both to want a second date. I have this little voice in my head that makes me feel I'm not good enough, attractive enough and he's gonna think it too!

He is out of my league lol. I'm not ugly but my lack of confidence is driving me mad. Any tips advice pls?

Thank you in advance :-)

View related questions: confidence, met online, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012):

Don't always trust what you see on the computer. I decided to meet this guy that I met online at a coffee shop. When I first saw him? He looked nothing like his online picture did! He was much shorter and aged about 10 years more! I was devastated! People put up pics. that they think look most desirable to others. Just be careful ;) Good luck

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntDon't cancel!

Tell him you may be a little nervous. Its normal on first dates. I bet he feels the same by the way.

If you need a little boost to your confidence, why not go and buy yourself a new top to wear on the date, get your hair done. Pamper yourself.

And just go and enjoy it. Don't even think about the second date at this stage. Just enjoy the first one.

Remember, he wouldn't agree to meet you if he wasn't interested.

Last word: don't leap in to bed with him!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012):

Just because he is good looking, don't think he is out of your league. And prepare yourself because they don't always look like their photo, lol.

Give yourself some credit, he asked you out, so he is attracted to you/your profile. I think everyone gets nervous. I used to tell myself, if we don't hit it off, maybe he could be a good friend. That took some pressure off me. Don't cancel, go & have fun.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (19 November 2012):

DV1 agony auntJust go and have a good time. If you don't have any expectations, you'll have no reason to be nervous. Nobody is out of your league. You're only going to get as good as you think you can get...

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A male reader, human_male New Zealand +, writes (19 November 2012):

human_male agony auntGet really, really stoned?

No, just kidding. Honestly all you can do if push yourself through the nerves. Don't cancel for Gods sake, you'll never forgive yourself. Tell yourself that being nervous is only a feeling and it doesn't mean anything bad is going to happen. You feel hot, you feel hungry, you feel nervous. It's just a feeling.

And remember that this guy has chosen to go out with you, so he obviously likes you. And he's probably nervous too. Smile, make eye contact and don't be afraid to ask questions and engage in the conversation.

Anyway, despite all your nerves and belief that he's out of your leauge it will most likely be YOU who chooses not to see him again, not the other way around.

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