A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man through a friend. We have not met yet. We have been trying to get to know oneanother though emails and text for several months. I am very attracted to him probably because opposites attract. i am on the conservative side with a little kinkiness to me and he is super kinky. One might ask why are you talking to a man you have not met about sex? The answer is I have been abstinent for many years and am so excited for a relationship. He is claiming he wants one to as he says it to me everyday. The problem is he feels he is scaring me away with his fetishes and sometimes I am a little afraid because I do not know if they are normal. He emailed the other day that he wants to do a striptease for me on the cam and then end it by being on all fours so I can see his privates from that view. He seems to be very egotistical about how well endowed he is. i told him he freaked me out a little but i thought he was funny. He got mad at me and told me he is trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. I guess I am not going to respond because I am not sure if these fetishes are normal. He also has a sub fetish ( apparently this is common for very successful men, shoes fetish and modleing fetish. Any help is appreciated
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Don't email him back. Kinkiness is one thing, but if he's being a child about the entire thing then he's not someone you want to have a relationship with either.
Being kinky should just be a private "extra". There are other qualities needed for a successful relationship that he apparently doesn't have.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 I would just let it go. It sounds like you two are on different tracks. He wants to show it all off on the webcam before you've ever met face to face. You might be open to stuff, but you'd prefer to develop a more conventional relationship first -- like actually meeting and getting to know each other before you see each other naked.
I have no doubt that there are lots of guys out there who are more on your wavelength. This one doesn't sound like much of a loss to me.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies. I think we are over before it started. he emailed me that he thinks I am trying to walk away from a relationship and trying to find a reason to walk away such as him not meeting my criteria. He left it as if he wants no discussion or anything. I replied that isn't true at all and I do want a healthy relationship, but I need to know and trust him through face to face communication first. I said, I am not attracted to thongs but that is not a deal breaker (he likes thongs, and yes the strip tease does not turn me on either especially if he is on all fours) If I loved someone, I would strike a compromise so he felt satisfied. But I cannot say anything about how I feel and he has a temper tantrum it seems. He deleted me off facebook and that tells me he wants nothing to do with me, yesterday I got the last email saying that he thinks I will alway think he is wierd. I have not repsonded as i figure he wants nothing to do with me..I was open to trying new things with him after we met and I trusted him. What is his deal? Do i email him back?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (26 April 2010):
"Normal" is whatever you're comfortable with.
Sexuality is an amazing, personal thing. It can certainly evolve over time. I'm just not sure how well it can genuinely evolve if you're facing pressure, if someone is pushing at the edge of your comfort zone.
Anything you do with this guy is strictly between the two of you, so the opinion of anyone here (or anywhere else) as to whether a particular act is 'normal' or not is irrelevant. You have to answer to your conscience, nothing else. If his kinks hit a guilty pleasure of yours that you wouldn't otherwise admit to, then enjoy. If his strip tease or whatever is going to creep you out, then be upfront about it with him and remain true to yourself.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (26 April 2010):
Yes, he has a couple of fetishes, but all men do. Women as well. Some are a little more extreme then others, but as long as they don't involve children or farm animals I really wouldn't be worried if I were you. Some men like to dominate, some like to be dominated, some have a think for feet (i never understood that one but ok). Different people are into different things. From what you've told us, it's been a little while for you... so I think a little bit of change and excitement can be good for you. Don't worry about what others may think, just don't let him do something that may hurt you or makes you really uncomfortable, but otherwise I suggest just having fun. In time you may learn about things that turn you on that you never knew before...
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