A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts and uncles.I am wondering what is your take on this.I am dating this great guy, who is very serious about me and we have discussed marriage and kids.He has great potential, and we both have nice lucrative careers and by the time we hit 30 we would both have a nice stable income.I find him attractive and I think that we would have great kids together.My family is very healthy aside from myopia and astigmatism, and my father having appendicitis once.My extended family is quite healthy, my grandma died from lung cancer, but this was due to over 40 years of excessive smoking. Still she lived until almost 80 on all of her senses.My boyfriends family, his immediate family ALL have health issues. His mother has a grave autoimmune disease, his brother has grave heart issues having been operated on 8 times since he was a toddler,his father has blood sugar issues, his grandfather has alzheimers , and his grandma had cancer and passed, and his remaining one has leukemia. He has a couple of conditions as well that have required surgery.The are all currently going through this.I wonder about having kids with him sometimes. He is BRIGHT, ambitious,and very good looking, athletic and would make a great dad. He has great teeth and eyesight, and is very keen and kind. I would be afraid that my kids would inherit something like this. He is the healthiest one of the family despite his conditions.Health wise, I am very healthy except for astigmatism which I had surgery for, and crooked teeth that had to be corrected.Is it right to be apprehensive? Would you have a child with a partner if youu thought they would inherit the disease?I often ask myself, why do people with dwarfism have kids being such a high risk pregnancy, and risking inheriting the disease.What are your takes on this?My boyfriend is also concerned about "reproducing"
View related questions:
ambition Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): I'm th eoriginal poster of the question
So_very_confused: I feel your pain about having a family member on the Autistic spectrum as my parents adopted my brother who is on the spectrum. He was never medicated since it "zombiefied" him instead they chose other approaches, lots of physical activity, sports, reading.. keeping him busy all the time... MUSIC! Playing the keyboard was great for his motion senses and concentration, and he currently holds a Master's and has his own house and is doing well, and is well adjusted member of society, so I understand your trial, and I wish you the best of luck and lots of patience.
As he aged something that took a lot of patience was helping him verbalize his feelings outwards...
Anyway good luck with this! He is luck to have such a caring mother.
To the anonymous female.
I understand how it may seem shallow, but I want what is best for my children. I love him dearly, and I think he will be a good father (this includes the bike riding) but we are on a point on science and technology where I think we can try and choose what is best for our offspring. I honestly pray for nothing more than a healthy nd happy child, but there are some times like So_very_confused stated that some genes would not be the best to pass on.
We ignore a lot about our genetic makeup, but both me and him just want the best for our future child if any.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 December 2012):
One reason we are often attracted to those so opposite ourselves is just this. Most genetic diseases are recessive, so to develop the child needs one from each parent. If the parents are from dissimilar genetic stock, there is a less of a chance this will occur.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): Aside from cases where serious genetic diseases may be passed down, I don't believe that a family history of poor health is something you should be worrying about when having kids. There are always risks that they will not be healthy but that's life - there are no guarantees. What strikes me as odd about your question is the way you describe your partner as a list of attributes rather than the man you love and possible future father of your children. Saying that you think you would have great children together because he is athletic, intelligent and has great teeth and eyesight is frankly a very shallow way to look at it. Will he support you? Will he help teach your kids to read or to ride their bikes? Does he share your views on discipline? These are the questions you need to ask, not if he has 20/20 vision. Trying to create 'perfect' children using your checklist is not the way to go and is a surefire way of setting yourself up for disappointment in the future.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2012):
 Ya know I often say if I had known how bad my gene pool was I never would have had kids. One of my kids is on the Autistic spectrum and there has never been anyone with any of his disorders in either family. My other kid has ADHD which I have and as far as I'm concerned is not a big deal...
BUT my mom died of lung cancer. Her mother died of lung cancer, her sister died of lung cancer and her father died of lymph cancer.
My dad at 79 now has diabetes and a heart condition and continuous monitoring for skin cancers.. He however still plays golf 3 times a week (18 holes) and walks to the fitness center to work out...
There are some diseases you don't want to risk such as two Sickle cell anemia carriers having kids.... or two Tay Sachs Carriers having kids... or if two folks who carry the Cystic fibrosis gene have kids...
there is usually a 1 in 4 chance that a child has this disease and there is testing prior to birth to help them decide if they want to abort the baby or watch their child die (although except for Tay Sachs the life expectancy is longer and longer with the diseases I listed)
Most of the disorders you talk about are things we almost all get as we age....
I would surely speak with a geneticist if you are that concerned.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2012): I would talk to a doctor and ask him/her what are the rick factors
...............................
|
