A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started a new job over a month ago. The floor i work on is the same floor as my mates brother who I have never met before. i was introduced to him by mate ever since we been introduced he always makes the effort to come and talk to me in intervals throughout the day. We even been out together a few times. The last time we went out he was play hitting my leg. He asked me at one point what am i looking for in a guy and when I started saying a list he went on and said thats 'me'. Today he even said I need to make a good imprrssion if i ever meet your family. He also teased me saying things like ive fallen in love with him etc and well mimic what i say. However, on the other hand he will act cold and act like i dont exist and not talk to me at work for the whole day.My question is does he like me or is it just flirty banter?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2018): He's mocking you and making fun of you. One of the tactics of a player is to test and see how much you like him. He will charm and titillate you; then he will go completely cold. Hot and cold, sweet and bitter. Then nothing at all. He'll ignore you. He's embarrassed of you, if you're too friendly in-front of other people. He'll make a fool of you.
You let the cat out of the bag. Telling him what you want in men; just so he can bait the trap and make you think he's what you're looking for. He's taunting you as if you're some desperate lonely female! "Hey, you want some of this?"
Just like the snake in the Garden of Eden wooed Eve into going for the forbidden fruit. She had access to paradise; but she had to mess with the one tree she was told to leave alone. You've got to use your job as the place to seek a date. Co-workers are forbidden-fruit!
First mistake was flirting with someone you work with. Your job is not your dating pool, it's where you earn your money to pay the bills. Job and personal-life should be kept separate.
Is the "mate" you speak of male or female? Perhaps that mate has been talking to his/her brother about you; and he already has a heads-up, even if you have never met. Brother may have the inside-story about you, as you know nothing about him.
Let things go back to where they were. Let him do his job, and you do yours. He's just a co-worker. No flirting on the job! Make him keep his hands to himself, and you should be professional at work at all times. I don't care how relaxed or casual things are at work; that kind of work-atmosphere is the devil's playground.
You shouldn't have to wonder if somebody likes you. Adults don't have to play games with each other like a couple of hormone-drunk teenagers. The hell with whether he likes you or not. Demand respect and keep your distance. He's behaving badly!
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (8 March 2018):
Honeypie is absolutely right about this guy being a game player. He likes you and would like to get you into bed. But he is acting childish. It sounds like he is providing you with some entertainment and flattery. Enjoy it but keep you distance. This is your WORKPLACE!!! You say your at least 30 years old. You must know this by now! This guy is a joker and, if you do the slightest romantic thing with him (a date and/or a kiss) you are going to screw up your job and wish you'd never let him play you. Keep this whole deal down to the point where it is slight entertaining for you. Let it advance no further than it has. Frankly, his mature actions labels him as a total idiot. You'll be one, too, if you start playing his game.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 March 2018):
 He seems like someone who likes to play games with girls. Because you jump in with both feet he up the game with the hot/cold.
Honey, you don't have a LIST of what you want in a BF, do you? Because that isn't realistic. You aren't shopping for a car...
Having a standard, having a preference is fine but don't shoot yourself in the foot by keeping a "list of demands" to date a guy. Even if you DO.... don't tell a guy what they are! That is like showing the dealer in Vegas your cards before the game is done...
Also, OP... you are at your job to WORK, that is what you are paid for, not to run around and flirt with guys and hope to pick up a new BF. Be professional, this isn't high school any more.
You know the term, "don't shit where you eat"? That means don't do dumb stuff where you work! If things don't work out (which I don't think they will as he seems to just play games and mess you around) it will be AWKWARD for you to go to work but it will also be awkward for those AROUND you at work.
If you have been out a few times WITH this guy and he plays the "ignore you" kind of games is that REALLY a guy you want to waste time on? Now I get that he MIGHT actually be working - so not purposely ignoring you... which means IF that is what he is doing... take a note from his book and do that same. Stop chasing him. Work when you are at work.
As for him saying you have fallen for him, well that is what he would like to think isn't it? To rub his ego? That he "pulled" another girl so easily? Sounds like a dude a bit full of himself. Don't you think?
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