A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 10 years and together with him 13. We have 3 kids together. We have both been unfaithful in the marriage but seem to stay together for the kids I think. He says he truly loves me but people who love each other don't continue to cheat on one another right? One and a half years ago he cheated and gave me an STD. I haven't been the same and think that was the last straw of our cheating on each other but I'm still here in the same house but we live as room mates. About 8 months ago I met a married man at a dinner and slept with him 2 nites in a row and was definitely never expecting to see him again. We ended up exchanging numbers and over the course of the last 8 months have been everything to each other. He has 4 kids and decided to leave his wife 2 months after we met... he has been "waiting for me"... after 6 months I ended up telling my husband I was in love with another man and his wife found out he was seeing someone and it was serious. Since then she continued to use the kids and make him feel guilty for not being there for them. She's been begging him to come back, that things will change. She will help him move his stuff back in. He is a great dad and does everything for his kids. We have talked about the future and "us" he even asked me to move in with him, been telling me he loves me and we spent new years together which I think he regreted because he usually spends it with his kids. He broke up with me three days ago in a text and kept apologizing for being such a jerk but it would've never worked out with all these kids... he has decided to move back with his family and try to make it work (they have split at least 3 times in 17 years).Yesterday he text me, could we be friends and he's sorry how he ended it with me... why is he contacting me? He chose this not me. Is he trying to make himself feel better? Then he got mad at me for telling him to mail my stuff that I have nothing to say to him. I am on a rollercoaster of emotions... I know I still want to leave my husband and be on my own with my kids but this guy is driving me crazy. I have never felt like this for anyone in my life... He was the "perfect man" but still belonged to someone elsesorry so long
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broke up, married man, roommate, std, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jenni2878 +, writes (14 January 2009):
 this is a tricky one indeed... well i think that kids and marriage complicate things. and yes it is possible to love someone and cheat. i dont do it but i know lots of people that do and they really love their spouse. maybe u guys could try and open marriage. then its not cheating and u keep the stuff out of the kiddies faces but get to satisfy ur sexual needs
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
its hard when the kids mom puts pressure on u doesnt mean he doesnt want to see u or doesnt love u. or isnt a good guy. maybe all four of u can work something out where u stay in ur respective households for the kids but see who u want. check out that article
my husband and i split and during the split we saw other people he got a girl pregnant. at first it was hard but im coming to grips with her. i would rather him take cre of her then be a jerk. and remembe he totally di not i repeat did not! give u an std on purpose. that always makes things more angry but it could have happened to you to remember
A
female
reader, Ask JenniHearts  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 this is a tricky one. guys usually try and hide their emotions under the rug. i know that you love you and have never felt this way but he's changed. guys usually cheat and then say things too keep you there like "i'm leaving her" or "i want you only you" you can't let that stop you from being independent. get your stuff back from him and then tell him to leave you alone and that friends are out of the question. i know its hard to say good bye but it's what is best.
the reason he's contacting you is he wants to feel like he's the man . he wants to know that he was man enough to break it off but he's sensitive enough to make sure your ok. but theres a dark side to this. he's only doing it to feed his ego and make him self unscratchable.
all i can tell you is...
PLEASE DON'T FALL FOR IT!!
i hope this has helped
jenni hearts
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