A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a 2 month old daughter, I love my childs father with all my heart and I want us to be a family. However, he is married. His wife called me the day after I had my child, and told me that they were still together and he was living under her roof, which is the opposite of what he's been telling me for the past year. Recently his wife moved out of town with there children. Shortly there after, he informed me that he would be leaving as well, but they were in different states. He goes out of town every weekend and sais that he was planning on moving, getting situated and then moving us out there with him. I just found out that his wife moved to the state he has been spending all his time in. He refuses to give me his cell phone number because he says that it's in her name and he doesn't want her to trip with him. He tells me he loves me and wants us to be together and I think it so hard fo me to leave because I want this so bad. Please help.
View related questions:
moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (4 January 2008):
 It is very obvious that this guy does not have any plans to leave his wife to be with you. He is definately stringing you along. If you really want to have a family you need to move on because that is something that he can not give you. He already has a family and as much as I hate to say it you only made the situation worst by bringing an innocent child into this equation. Now you aren't the on;ly one that will be hurt and disappointed by his lies. When she is old enough to understand your daughter will be more hurt than you. You put yourself in this position but the baby is simply an innocent victim.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): You are being merely a mistress, as birdynumnums says. Some men, throughout history, are able to set up this kind of arrangement, and perhaps many men would like to, but I never even tried when I was married. Sure, men enjoy variety, as I do now in my later years, but I have no commitments and make no promises that I will not keep. This man is totally dishonest, in my opinion, and you have been played like a pinball machine. Now there is a child, and that is sad. I hope you have held him responsible for his part, and take him to court if you have to, to support her. Try to find a good, descent man for your future. They exist, though many not be the most gorgeous, they can be most loving and valuable to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 If you were to have read your question back to yourself, pretending that the people involved were not you, he, and his spouse, would you believe the things that he has told you in this question? I have to tell you that it sounds like he wants to keep both of you happy so that he won't have to decide between you. AND by that I mean that he wants to keep his wife happy and keep you as a mistress.
You can only be his mistress if you keep participating in this sham, by falling for his continual lies and following him and his family. You may want to be with this man, but he has really demonstrated to you that you come second. You deserve better than this and should expect to come first in any relationship that you are emotionally invested in. You can choose to pursue this losing investment or get the heck out and find a relationship that is a healthier environment to raise your child in. I wish you and your child all the good things that you deserve in life.
...............................
A
female
reader, mary-lee  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 I'm sorry but this guy is definatly lying to you. he is stringing you along. i think that your heading for heart break. he is being secretive and does not sound trust worthy. its hard as this situation is complicated by a child, however it sounds like the sooner you get out the better. its going to be hard as u say that you love him, but u need to leave him.
...............................
|
