A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have found out that when we split up my ex partner went on a large site looking for group sex and couple sex and he never put his sexual orientation as being straight. I thought that i had a child with a decent heterasexual man but it seems that he is just a pervert and i feel that our child is better off not seeing him now. am i being fair to feel this way?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (17 July 2009):
You have a right to make sure that the kids the two of you brought into this world are safe and get quality time with both parents.
You ex's sexual fantasies shouldn't Come into play here. He may have simply joined the web site as a way of looking at the ads, or to exhange with like people. I didn't sense that you have knowledge that he's actually meeting people, but even if he is that's his buisness.
There are plenty of swingers that are good parents...
Both of you have the right to priavte sex lives, hopefully you will each have good ones, but his is his and your is yours... they shouldn't cross over anylonger...
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 September 2008):
So you split up and then decided to explore his sexuality....
I really don't see how that makes him a pervert. He's a single guy and wanting to experiment. You might not like it but it's his choice not yours.
You have no right to stop him seeing his child. He's not going to take the baby to group sex sessions is he? It's a separate part of his life.
You may not like it but it's his life not yours any more.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i have looked at his profile on this site and to be fair he has put prefer not to answer to other things like smoking and drinking and he has not subscribed to it so i assume he was just curious. Looking back on it we had split up and i know he was as cut up about it as i was so on hindsight i think he was just not wanting a relationship and that is how he dealt with things. I dont think he is gay but then what do i know hey.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 I can understand that you feel betrayed and deceived. Sexual preferences aside, all that time you were with a man who wasn't letting you see his real you. What other parts of your relationship were also fake?
As to not seeing the child, I don't agree with you. He is the father after all. If he's a good father, then there's no grounds to cut that contact.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Hi,
while you have every right to despise your ex for his personal sexual tastes ,if he is a good father to his child you will be denying your kid the opportunity to grow up knowing his/her father. That could easily come back to haunt you in later life as your child may very well blame you for keeping them apart.
You obvioulsy feel very bitter towards your ex and you should ask yourself this question "am I using my child to pay him back for what he did to me"?
The bottom line is, if he is a good father to your child you should let him play a part in the child's life.
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