A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 22 - never dated before. For the first time really, I'm meeting a guy who has what I'm looking for but problem: I'm a staunch christian so growing up, i taught lots a thingss. He bets just for fun of it, ofcourse u know christianity frowns against it. He drinks(moderately though,I know for a fact dt he cn hold his alcohol well). He's a christian too but problem is he's catholic $ I'm pentecostal. I dont have a problem with catholics but I'm thinkn long term becos if I decide to marry him, there ll be war. I'm beginning to wonder if denomination matters, I'm loving this guy everyday. For those of us that understand christian denominational issues, you know what I mean, he's staunch catholic too. Truth is he's better than most highly professed christians. Dunno what to do. this guy is all I ever wanted I mentioned we've had a deep long talk about it all. The most important part of all is we've been close friends for 7years $ he's been asking me out for all 7yearsI always laughed his proposal off $ never had interest in him.But suddenly I'm loving him like neva. I want a relationship with guy but I value our friendship too much to mess it up with romance. What if, just what if this doesn't work cos of differences? PLEASE HELP
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male
reader, xgod  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 First off, I will copy what I said to the poster in this link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/religious-views-are-tearing-us-apart-must-it.html and adapt it for your needs, based on the information you have provided. ... ... Your situation is not unique. Many people of different belief systems live long happy lives together.My own mother-in-law was raised in an extreme Southern Baptist setting. She married a Devout Evangelical Catholic man. The agreement between them was that they would learn about each other's beliefs without prejudice or judgement.It worked out because they learned how each other feels about the universe, the world, society, good and evil, god(s) or no God(s), etc.You should ask your guy to tell you about his faith. Be silent and listen. If you are in any way offended, simply consider the similarities. For the most part, you both read and use the same Bible. You both believe in the same God. It is all semantics and technicalities with differences in how the Orthodoxy of your chirp and his church make their rules.You say you are Pentecostal and he was raised Catholic. What you need to do is be tolerant of each other's upbringing. Learn why and how he believes what he does. Get to know his personal impressions of all of it. Attend worship services with him. You do not have to worship, just be a silent and tolerant observer. If you do not agree with certain elements of his faith, identify them and explain them to him: calmly and quietly.Know that the similarities between Catholic and Pentecostal faiths outweighs the differences. Check this out: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Critics-Catholicism-3337/2008/3/Catholic-vs-Pentecostal-beliefs.htmI advise you - if you truly love and want to spend your life with this man, you should make it clear to him that you do. You should make him understand that you will be by his side regardless the differences you have in your heart about religion.In 1960, my wife's parents (the Southern Baptist and the Catholic Evangelical) were married. They are married today. They are happy, content with their lives, and have come to understand that each will have his or her own time to be with his or her own god(s) and everything in their lives is shared except for that one little thing. Everything else is togetherness.Do discuss it, come to a calm agreement and find your peace together.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): Religion causes such problems - all over the world! Well, I should say, "man's" interpretation of religion causes problems all over the world.You say he's the man of your dreams, but he gambles and he drinks (Oh, by the way, being able to hold one's drink is not a cause for celebration) - these are both obviously issues for you. In my experience, as one gets older, the issues that were only of mild concern in our younger life grow. What niggles you now will drive you insane in the future.I too live in a country where, even now, marriages between different religions can cause very serious problems. Are you willing to risk the disapproval or loss of your family for the sake of this man? If you were to marry and have children, how would their lives be affected?If you have serious doubts (and I think you do, afterall you have said "No" to him for 7 years!) I think you would be best to walk away from this relationship.Good luck.
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