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My husband can't keep hard. Is he cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *ela d. writes:

my husband for the past 2 days hasnt been able to get his penis up, but sitting on the couch yesterday looking at me, rubbing up behind while cooking , and in tje shower he did get it up.... but when time to preform his penis wouldnt do ANYTHING, so im asking what in the world is going on.. i asked who he is screwing and of course he says nobody but what am i suppose to think??????? plzz answer bck soon

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A male reader, ilgitano United States +, writes (1 April 2012):

You're kidding right? Two days without an erection and you panic? Stop it.

This is called life... He's just tired or stressed. He may need a bit of exercise.

Do you dress up for him?

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (30 March 2012):

Yos agony auntWow. Sorry but i'd be incredibly upset if my girlfriend asked me that because i couldn't get it up. Men are very sensitive about that part of our anatomy... and it doesn't always do what it's supposed to. You owe him an apology.

FYI it can be tiredness, stress, or just sometimes it just has a mind of its own and won't co-operate.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (30 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou are supposed to think your husband is getting a bit older and that he loves you but sometimes his body just can't comply with your demands.

I second the vote to get a medical workup

you need to chill out however and not make a big deal about it since that will make it worse.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

this does not mean hes cheating loads of diffrent factors can cause this stress is a main factor

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

Well, aren't you the sensitive soul ... as if this poor man isn't under enough pressure already you immediately ask him "who is he screwing"?! Are you for real?

How would you feel if, for a perfectly valid reason, you went off sex and the first thing your husband did was accuse you of cheating?

There are any number of perfectly valid emotional and/or medical reasons why a man - of any age - may experience impotence.

So, stop being so insensitive and selfish and try to persuade your husband (gently and kindly) to see a doctor. Do not - under any circumstances - buy viagra off the internet or suggest your husband takes this without the consent of his doctor.

A little sensitivity goes a long way.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (29 March 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntMake a doctor's appointment, he might need a little help from modern chemistry, he's getting older.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

Just because your husband can't get erect that doesn't mean he is cheating, don't you think by accusing him of cheating is going to put mroe pressure on him to get hard and it may make it harder? My boyfriend had this problem once and OK were not married but he went to go to the doctors and got tablets to help and after a week he was fine, maybe try have a look online and you may find something that may be causing this probelm, if not going to the GP is always the best solution. Good Luck.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (29 March 2012):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntHave u put pressure on him in anyway to perform? Has he been stressed out? Is he overweight?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

it doesnt mean he is cheating. Maybe you need to talk to him and help him out.

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (29 March 2012):

It's probably nothing. Stress or any number of other factors, such as being preoccupied with something, can cause a man to either not be able to get an erection, or to quickly lose it. If it's something along these lines the problem will resolve itself in short order.

The other possible innocuous explanation is it could be the onset of erectile dysfunction. Your husband's age and general health are factors. If he's around your age and in good healthy, then he is at low risk for suffering from ED.

I suppose he could also be masturbating, or at least more lately than he usually does (if he does, that is).

So there are many explanations other than "he's cheating".

Best of luck!

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