A
female
age
30-35,
*herryBoom
writes:i seriously need some advice here. not even the police are helpful!it all started when my sister saw this ad in a local newspaper. this bar was looking for a waitress. so she called the bar and asked if she could come by and have an interview with the owner of the shop. so the funny thing is the owner who runs the bar with his brother suggested she should come by around 02.00 in the morning. she told me and i was suspicious about the whole thing, cuz we live in germany and the law forbids under 18 year olds to work in a bar where alcohol is being sold. anyways i told i'd come with her cuz i was suspicious about the whole thing. so when we got there the guy was surprised to see that she brought someone with her and he was kind of nice( super nice) and i asked why should my sis come at shuch an hour and all he said was that he is the one who employs ppl and not his brother. becuz he'd be gone for two weeks and it's better if we see him now. so my sis started cleaning up with him and he at one point told my sister, to send me home bcuz i am distracting him. she told me i should go home since i had to wake very early in the morning. at first i didn't want to go but than i left after telling my sis that she should call me at once if something happens. what i didn't know that i had make a big mistake by leaving her with this guy. the next day my sis was pretty quiet cuz she is normally vivid so i asked her what had happened but she didn't want to tell me so i left her. till she came up to me a few days ago. she told the guy( owner of the bar) had given her a lot of alcohol to drink and she couldn't remember well bcuz she had drunk so much and he obviously forced himself on her against her will. ever since he'd be sending her text messages saying that he enjoyed it and so on. she would reply with things like it was against her will and he used her and since then she doesn't want to work there. he even had the audacity to ask her if she could send him some of her friends who would then sleep with him and he'd give them 50€s and he offered giving 30€s to my sister so she can get girls for him. really unbelievable.that's when i said we should go directly to the police. so we went and this policewoman wasn't a great help. we even showed her the sms. and this policewoman gave my sister the feeling that it was her fault!!! i was so outraged. she said that nothing had really happened. that this isn't really a rape. my sister felt and still feels humiliated. i don't really know what to do. this really makes me angry bcuz i want to really help her and i don't know what to do. i was thinking of hiring thugs, who should beat up the bastard. i can forget the police, they really aren't a help. somehow i think it's my fault. i should have stayed. if i was there it wouldn't have happened. i really feel guilty.
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female
reader, CherryBoom +, writes (15 July 2009):
CherryBoom is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ RAINORFIRE yes, i am an immigrant living in germany. i think that's probably why the police didn't take us serious. my sister is planning on letting the charges down. she wants to close that chapter. and yes i am emotional about what happened and have to respect my sister's choice. i asked her if she wanted to go a help group but she declined so i'm trying my best to support.
i won't do the thug-hiring-thing cuz most of my friends and my common sense have warned me.
i appreciate your advice. thank you
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I hope thats not your real name you used you should have posted this anonymously specially since you mention hiring thugs to beat someone up. I can say if it was my sister i would have committed some sins against those men allready they would be begging me to call the cops. Getting thugs probably not help your sitution at this point if your sister is under age you have a case and if you need to get more evidence get it think with your head not with your emotions you say your from Germany the other poster mentions Nigeria so im guessing your flag is nigerian well you have two strikes against you im assuming your black/african and an immigrant so you have to realize any justice is an up hill battle, you may find your effort put to better use if you focus on helping your sister through this rather then seeking vengence rigth now your angry and hurt and not thinking rationally but if your sister barely rembers the incident then she shouldnt be to traumatized by it dont try to make her remember she needs to move past it because she can be emotionally damaged for life. you do not need to feel guilty you just learned a terrible sad life lesson, your sister is other wise healthy and un hurt you two need to learn from this and move on. If you hire thugs to hurt these guys and something goes wrong you can end up in serious trouble plus it wont make you feel any better in end it wont erase what . look around your town for support groups anything you can find to help your sister if she needs it counselor therapy etc I hope you can bring theese men to justice but try to go through the propper legal channels, dont do anything youll regret.Keep your head up i wish you luck. I would like to kno how things turn out so post your progress if you can
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A
female
reader, Hannan +, writes (15 July 2009):
D deed has been done.Go to a civil rights society or better still,d nigerian community in germany nd c wat they can do.Don't use thugs,they wil pose more danger,they re untamed.
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