A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok..I have a huge crush on a man I cant have! Im nearly 20 and hes 39..Hes so nice I like him loads!! But the only problem is hes just got back in with his ex,who I know cos shes my dads friend.They all go out together,I joined them saturday.I couldnt help but flirt Im so attracted to him! I need an older man..Im fed up with being messed around by young lads who dont know what they want.We was locked in conversation all night,and I nearly melted when he put his arm around me at one point! Ive got it bad! I want this man!! lol. Can somebody help me out with a bit of advice please! I need some sanity!
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crush, flirt, his ex, older man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): 2o years is big but it can work i am nearly 20 and my boyfriend is 40 and we have a good relationship. but i wouldnt go after him if he has a girlfriend as you wont like it if it was the other way round
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 July 2007):
 I'm a man about that age, so I can give you an opinion here. If I found someone not yet twenty, maybe I would be sexually attracted to her, but I would know, right away, that such a relationship wouldn't work. Spare you the pain, dear, and don't hope for this. Some battles are not worth fighting.
My heart is with you.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 July 2007):
 'i need an older man im fed up being messed about by younger ones?' if this guy starts seeing you while with his girl, isnt he messing her around, eventually you in future no doubt?Find another older man, that ones taken.C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (30 July 2007):
 It's okay to date slightly older men, I'm not sure I'd go for one quite this much older though. I would also NOT pursue a man who is already in a relationship with someone. It'll just be a big mess and you will embarrass your family to death. You're young, and probably very sexy. This man is no doubt attracted to you but it will never go anywhere and you don't want to be any man's mid-life fling. You will just get your heart broken. My advise is not to accept any more invitations that will put the two of you in the same social setting. It's time for you to find a man that you are attracted to, he may be a little older than you, it's okay, but make sure he's not with someone else. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be with the love of your life, only to discover some chick is scamming on your man behind your back!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): I think a 19 year age difference when you are only 20 is too big of a gap, this man is clearly just being nice to you, he is with another woman, and dating her in front of you with your dad present, this spells F R I E N D. Keep it that way, who knows, maybe he has a nice son or nephew he could introduce you to.....I think you are very infatuated with him because he has more going for him as a man than the boys you have dated....just take notes, and figure out what qualities in him you admire, and this will guide you in what to look for in a more appropriate date.
You are young, you are going to date some guys who don't measure up, but that is part of life, so don't stop dating guys that are more your level, and more importantly are not in relationships.
Hang in there, you will meet someone fantastic soon, but not this man, you are headed for embarassment and heart ache if you pursue.
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