A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. We've been together with my boyfriend for a year now. Problem is, i've asked him to get tested with me but he says that he's not yet ready!!! Could'nt believe it either... Actually it shocked me. My mom knows that i wanted to go and test with him, but all he says now is that he's not ready and that he doesn't mean that he will not get tested with me, he just isn't ready to do it. I dnt knw what to make out of this, he scares me now and i don't know whether to put the relationship at a halt or get tested alone (but i wanted to do it with HIM). Yes he does love me.. A lot, and i love him too! But im shocked at what he said, pls help me guys.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh yea guys!! Thanks for all the replies... The reason i'm only replying now is that my bf has finally agreed to test. Shoo!! After so much convincing i had to do! In actuall fact, i'm glad that i had to do all that to get him to test and now i know that we will enjoy sex without even having to worry about a thing. I went testing on my own at first as you had all suggested and i was negative... Yipee! Well i'm certainly over the moon and hopefully, i'll feel like this for as long as i live. I know we going forward together and there can never ever be a doubt in my mind about it. Thanks a great lot again to you guys. Love ya!!
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 i'll assume we're talking about STD's here.
Not ready... yeah an std test its a life long commitment like a relationship or a puppy.
infact like a puppy he needs to get tested for worms.
i'm going to go out on a limb and say he may well think he has "something" and is hoping it will go away in time.
and they will, of course by that time the std would have probbably killed you first.
get yourself tested.
if he still gives excuses i think you need to put your health and safty first and move on.
also if he claims he had the test after that.. ask for proof.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 August 2008):
Well you should go and get tested and then tell him that it's fine for him to wait if he is scared. You can just stick to kissing and holding hands until he is ready.
He's probably scared that it may come back positive for something or he may see going to to doctors as a weak un-manly thing to do.
I know it's stupid but men really don't like going to Doctors.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):
You need to find out what he means by "not ready" this obviously means something else, as you can't not be ready to take a trip somewhere for half an hour and have a test. Not ready could mean "I'm scared".
You should definitely go on your own if he doesn't want to go with you. Maybe you could ask a friend to go with you?
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (1 August 2008):
 I assume you mean HIV testing? Maybe he is just scared and would rather not know, it doesnt mean he has something to hide x
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Sweetie, I think there are a lot of people out there who know they should get tested, but lack the courage... give him time and space to make his own decision. Rather abstain from any sex until he is tested. If he loves you he will understand your concerns!
Honeygirl
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