A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:I stopped speaking to my crazy Ex after her "relationship" with a guy who does cocaine. I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore and for a month to obliged my wishes and we didn't speak at all. Then out of the blue she sent me an IM. I hadn't spoken to her in a month so I replied. This is that IM. All names have been changed. Ex-girlfriend (12:53:38 AM): hey Solidus, i know we supposedly "dont speak", but i just wanted to say hey, cause thats what i do.Solidus (12:54:11 AM): how are you Ex-girlfriend (12:54:45 AM): good and u, im alive if thats what u meanSolidus (12:55:25 AM): Im pretty good, glad ur alive and stuff, what'chu been up to?Ex-girlfriend (12:56:15 AM): working and shit, funny how i work, but im always broke, i hate bills. how bout youSolidus (12:56:43 AM): the same, I feel like a slave...I try to save thoEx-girlfriend (12:59:03 AM): SolidusEx-girlfriend (12:59:09 AM): Jay must dieSolidus (12:59:17 AM): why?Ex-girlfriend (12:59:28 AM): cause he annoys meEx-girlfriend (12:59:36 AM): he is always hereEx-girlfriend (12:59:39 AM): like nowEx-girlfriend (12:59:55 AM): he has made me watch so many Solidus moviesEx-girlfriend (1:00:00 AM): such asEx-girlfriend (1:00:04 AM): smoking acesEx-girlfriend (1:00:08 AM): tmntEx-girlfriend (1:00:18 AM): hitch hikers guide to the .....Ex-girlfriend (1:00:24 AM): snatchEx-girlfriend (1:00:26 AM): reallyEx-girlfriend (1:00:30 AM): i cant take itEx-girlfriend (1:00:55 AM): he is such a stoner ass white boyEx-girlfriend (1:00:57 AM): kill me Ex-girlfriend (1:01:05 AM): sorrySolidus (1:01:06 AM): Wow. I thought you loved him. That's uncanny. I've seen all those except the last 2, but wouldn't ever ask you to watch them with me. Ex-girlfriend (1:01:41 AM): snatch is actually really goodEx-girlfriend (1:01:47 AM): but thats not the pointEx-girlfriend (1:01:54 AM): and i dont "love " himEx-girlfriend (1:01:59 AM): i love myselfSolidus (1:02:30 AM): oh sorry, I must've forgot. Well, I thought you had lot of affection for himEx-girlfriend (1:02:49 AM): whatSolidus (1:03:20 AM): isn't he part of the gang?Ex-girlfriend (1:03:36 AM): noEx-girlfriend (1:03:42 AM): everyone hates himSolidus (1:04:00 AM): then how come he's there all the time?Ex-girlfriend (1:04:24 AM): cause im the only person hereEx-girlfriend (1:04:30 AM): and im nice to himSolidus (1:04:55 AM): so John and company aren't?Ex-girlfriend (1:05:43 AM): John is sometimes. althought John did curse Jay out cause he keeps showing up at johns house unannouced looking for meSolidus (1:06:11 AM): I can almost see that in my head. It's funny. Ex-girlfriend (1:06:31 AM): it kinda was, for everyone except JayEx-girlfriend (1:10:30 AM): ok wellEx-girlfriend (1:10:57 AM): even though we "are not talking" u should still call me sometime, i gotta go keep Jay occupiedVampiricKnight85 (1:11:21 AM): If I called you are you sure you wouldn't just ignore me?Ex-girlfriend (1:11:54 AM): you are the one that sent me that 6 paragraph message about how my life was going to the crapperEx-girlfriend (1:12:08 AM): which was real hypocriticalPimp Named Andi (1:12:36 AM): seeing how u didnt have a problem with me getting drunk all time when i was with youEx-girlfriend (1:12:42 AM): ....think about itSolidus (1:13:14 AM): I always had a prob with it I just wasn't as vocal. And The diff is that I know I would "watch out for you" wheras I don't particularly trust others to do the jobEx-girlfriend (1:13:30 AM): john is a great babysitter Ex-girlfriend (1:13:38 AM): and im 23 i dont need oneSolidus (1:13:47 AM): if you say so Ex-girlfriend (1:14:01 AM): but your bitch ass should call me somtimesEx-girlfriend (1:14:10 AM): cause if u dontEx-girlfriend (1:14:15 AM): .ill have u killed3Ex-girlfriend (1:14:17 AM): jkEx-girlfriend (1:14:21 AM): hopefullyEx-girlfriend (1:14:29 AM): im kiddingSolidus (1:14:46 AM): Well, I'm off for 2 days look out for the ring, hope ur unoccupied when I doEx-girlfriend (1:14:56 AM): true thatEx-girlfriend (1:15:01 AM): buh byeSolidus (1:15:09 AM): night Ex-girlfriend signed off at 1:15:54 AM.Since this IM she's called twice. Why the hell would she want me to call her sometimes? What would be the point of that? She's hanging out/dating this coke using dude now so why call me reminiscing about crap we used to do together? She once told me she likes to "Severe all ties" to ex b/f so why call me?
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female
reader, heatherrrrrrr +, writes (2 August 2008):
 I'm beginning to think every guy holds onto their first love for a long, long time. Time heals all wounds, but you may never really forget Her.
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (1 August 2008):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question I don't know if she does coke but she gets drunk and smokes weed practically everyday. She hangs out with this coke user who she is "Dating" practically everyday. I stopped talking to her for a whole month until she IM. Her life is just very very sad to me. All she does is get drunk and high. I stopped talking to her cuz I didn't need her calling me under the influence at random hours of the night. Thankfully that has stopped entirely. She probably calls this coke dude now instead to slur in his ear.
I can understand why. I sarcastically judge her while he just gets high right along with her. Like when I said "A night of Ninja turtle movies and binging and heaving over the toilet. Sounds like fun." then she replied "See, that's why I don't talk to you because you say sly things like that to make me feel bad"
But I digress, all that's beside the point. I just wish I Could stop thinking about her. I tell myself it's just cuz she was my first love, first everything, but I think a part of me still loves her despite her "problems". Will I ever stop thinking about her? Will she always be on my mind?
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A
female
reader, heatherrrrrrr +, writes (1 August 2008):
To all of my male friends who have ex girlfriends like this, I only have one thing to say: No, no, NO. Men and women alike will try to charm their exes back in when things aren't going particularly well for them. It's likely she wants to use you for one thing or another.
I will now quote the only Dr. whose words touch me deeply: "Bitches ain't shit."
If you can, just taper off contact until you maintain radio silence once more.
I had a friend who dated a cokehead for a while and I had to stop talking to her during that period. Things are just too crazy when stimulants are involved.
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A
female
reader, sexylildevil +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Wow I really think you are better off if you just let her go and try to ignore her. The whole if you dont call me i am foing to have you killed part is what stands out in my mind as i read that and the fact that you call her your crazy ex which in my mind says you know that she is not all there and that she might just act out in a way that could cause you harm. But as to why she might want you to call her after all this time maybe she misses you and realize what a good thing she had with you and how badly her new bf treats her compared to you and she tells you about her new bf hopeing you will be jealous and want her back. Thats just my thoughts hope you get everything worked out. Take care and be safe.
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