A
female
age
51-59,
*ees
writes:dear cupid i need your help, i been with a man who is seperated for over 2 years its been a really rocky ride as he didnt tell me the seperation was fresh when i met him and i was thinking the divorce was nearly through. anyway last yaer i had a converation with the wife and she was shocked he was with me and told me he was always asking her to get back together he said it was just her way of not wanting him to be happy but in the back of my mind ive always wondered what if ? the 2 year legal seperation was up in august and last yaer he promised me he would get a divorce he now seems to be putting it off and when he saw her last week she said is she putting pressure for you to get divorced yet he said sort of which i was annoyed at , she did say the last night she spent with him was on their wedding anniversary in 2007 i asked him this and he swears on his kids life he was with me when i asked how can you be so sure he said its becauce it was their first anniversary apart and he felt bad because hed taken me out for a meal, yesterday i found a bank statment saying the date of their aniversary and it was a card payment for sainsbury wine london for £45 he said this must be for petrol as he dont drink wine , also his wife said she gave him a picture of her and their 2 daughters of 20 and 21when i asked him he swore again hed gave it her back , last night i called his bluff and said i want you to be tiotaly honest with me as you swore on your childrens life at firsty he said it was in the garage then i said il ask you again , he said well you seem to know were it is and its not like i get it out to look at im just so annoyed that he could lie like that and many of chance have i refused when ive been out to go out on a date, ive saved myself for this man , what do you think to this situtiom, thankyou
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anniversary, divorce, get back together, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): You're in a realtionship with who knows what? You can't tell... because he can't tell you!He needs to figure out which way is up, and learn to communicate. Odds are that he's cheated on you, and you've found the proof, but I can't tell you what I did 2 years ago on my anniversery- just can't...Now, if you find the ex credible, nice and not out to get him, I'd trust her. My ex couldn't tell the truth from a lie, and was so messed up she had ZERO idea what was reality when we split. So, if my wife ever talks to her, who knows WHAT she'll hear.
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Believe the ex-wife. If you find yourself acting like a detective in a relationship, looking for proof of what you already know, it's time to flick the loser that makes you feel that way.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (14 September 2009):
Ugh, he's a cheat and a liar. Been there, done that. It will just continually be lies upon lies to try and cover up the other lies. He's starting to get caught in his web and I think you know what to do. His wife isn't lying. If anyone knows best, it's usually the ex. He probably won't finalize the divorce EVER. Definitely quit wasting your time on this loser, you're only going to keep getting your heart broken over and over again until he decides to leave you to go back to his wife.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 September 2009):
 I think you've wasted 2 years of your life. He cheats and lies what more do you need to kick him to the curb?
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