A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello there, I really need some help for my boyfriend. we are both 18 and he's really concerned with a problem. he has had sex with multiple girls before we got together. and well everytime he would have sex he could never reach an orgasm unless he would masturbate himself. that is until now because when we do it he has no problem so he wants to know why? He thought it was because he didn't have that emotional attachment untill now but he's unsure. but he's worried that he might be unable to have kids because of it. Please help we really need to know.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 March 2012):
 It's not so strange, delayed ejaculation is not uncommon among young males.
Two reasons, one physiological the other psychological.
The first one, I suspect, that he might have been- as it is after all normal among teens,- a first class wanker.
If you masturbate a lot, or way more often than you have intercourse, you train yourself to respond to certain precise stimulations- a certain speed, the firm grip of your hand- which can't be exactly reproduced during intercourse. A vagina may feel better... but nevertheless is feels different , and not quite enough without a personal finishing touch.
The second is nerves, inexperience and .. mistrust. It's the very same reason why so many women can't orgasm during sex. Think about it : reaching climax is also a way of becoming vulnerable, of saying , Ok, you have power over me, you can make me loose control, you can make me physically SHOW you that I like you.
Sort of scary for lots of people. With you luckily he has not got this problem, because of the emotional attachment -which implies feeling sure about you and your feelings, and that you won't use this " power" you have, to humiliate him or hurt him or control him.
As for him not being able to have children, I don't know where he got this weird idea from- it sounds like he skipped a lot of Science classes when he was in high school , otherwise he would realize that his sexual style and his reproductive capacities are two totally separate things !
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