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He's playing me in a FWB while cheating his Gf. How do I break it off with him and mean it?

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Cheating, Faded love, Friends with Benefits, Health, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 32 and been divorced for about 3 years now. I have known a guy who is way younger than me as long as i can remember.

He will be 20 in 2 months. We have been in a FWB relatinship since he was 18 (legal age in my state). We would fight and break it off then end up back with each other.

That has happened many, many times. Once we really stop seeing each other because he had a girlfriend.

When he and his girl broke up, we ended up sleeping with each other again. Recently we had another hurtful fight and broke it off for about a month.

Now we are back together agin but this time he has another girlfriend. I dont aprove of him cheating but he says he doesnt want to stop seeing me.

He says he really cares for me and doesn't want to leave me alone. I know that is all a lie because after we have sex he doesnt want me to kiss him.

So i know he doesn't care. Now i want advice on how to cut ties since he doesn't want a real relationship with me.

i know there is an age difference. I just really dont if he is playing me. He has a girlfriend.

Why cant he be with his girlfriend and leave me alone?

View related questions: broke up, divorce, has a girlfriend

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (12 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou don't know if he's playing you?

Come on YES you do know....

he can't be with his girlfriend and leave you alone because YOU AlLOW him to use you...

JUST say NO... this is not about his age or your age... it's about your willingness to let him use you.

if you are friends on facebook... unfriend him

delete his number and block it on your phone

delete his email and set up a rule to have all his mail go right to the trash or better yet be deleted...

GO NO CONTACT.... 100% NO CONTACT.... that's how to end this mess.

Stop allowing him to use you for his own needs and desires.

I mean after all, if he magically showed up today and said "I've dumped my gf and realize I love you and want to be with you and live happily ever after." would you TRUST him to not CHEAT ON YOU with someone else???

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 March 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt And why should he ? He'd be dumb. He has found the perfect way to keep his cake and eat it too, and you want him to voluntarily stop, for the sake of what ? For not hurting your feelings ? he does not care , you can be as hurt as you like until you keep providing cake.

The only way to stop him is if YOU take charge and put up a big sign " Pastry shop closed for the duration ".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012):

He won't leave you alone until you stop having sex with him. He's a young red-blooded male so he's getting it wherever he can.

Just say no, if he cared he wouldn't be dating anyone - but you.

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