A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating this guy for 6 months and I'm 7 months pregnant and he left me for another girl and I don't know why. He is excited about the baby but doesn't want to be with me, can you read his e-mail and let me know what you think?dearest Miranda, you and i had better find some middle ground or this whole thing is going to be one big jerry springer episode. i'm sorry that i do not want to be with you, but guess what, you're married and have somebody who apparently wants to be with you, so what's your problem? i couldn't be with you because you would never let him go. you talked to him everyday, told him where you lived, and he's been up your ass every second since. yep, he's definitely there for you, where else could he be? i am going to take care of my child, if you want him to be there in the delivery room, that's fine by me, i'm still the father and that's all that matters to me. you keep talking like i abandoned you, you and i weren't split up but for a week when he's already moved in, so your excuse for that is no longer valid. if you want to be with this kind of guy, that's your problem, not mine. i come in once this starts dealing with my daughter. one day you're cool and telling me to rub your stomach, the next day i feel like you're starting drama. whatever the case, you had better realize that you and i are never going to be together and you need to get over it. i'm sorry i'm not there because i have a job, school, and a life. i'm going to handle my responsibilities as trinity's father, do not worry about that, it's up to you to handle yours and make sure she is safe at all times. so between me and you, you had better start being positive about this whole thing and our relationship as her parents will be great, if not, well, atleast you'll always have Dan. that's all i'm going to say. think about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): o.k. I had an affair with him and left my husband and we started seeing each other 7 months ago, but we didn't really date, but about 6 months. My husband knows it's his child but is willing to forgive me and accept the child as his. But, I can't seem to let go of the other guy, no matter how hard I try.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Old Fool has a point...what is it YOU want?
Your BF's email smacks of him being very hurt - as if you have done something to betray him or damage the relationship. Maybe you need to give us all some info on your relationship. Was the 6 month thing an affair? How are you 7 months preg with BF's baby if you have only been dating 6 months? One night thing? Or were you seperated from your spouse? What's the situation with you now? Are you back with your husband? It sounds like you are...and if that's the case your BF obviously thinks you've 'made your choice' and is bowing out.
And then there is his other woman....did he start with her and then you went back to hubby out of fear or spite or something?? This is all a bit confusing.
back to the original statement...YOU need to try and work out what you want. Is it your marriage? If so, let the BF go, focus on your husband and how the two of you will rebuild your r'ship and handle the baby's arrival. If you are still hung up on the BF - then you have to do right by your husband and leave him, don;t keep him hanging there as 'back-up' as someone on here suggested!
Maybe you don;t know who you want? If that's the case perhaps some space from both would help?
I hope you can get some clarity and feel more settled before bub arrives. Try not to stress too much - it's not healthy for your baby!
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (3 July 2008):
 If I'm reading this correctly, your husband never really let you go, you never really let your husband go, and your husband is now back with you. Is that correct? That seems to be the boyfriend's reason for wanting out.
At any rate, you're in a ticklish situation. You have a husband who's back with you but you're pregnant with someone else's baby. It appears, however, that the departed boyfriend is going to do his fatherly duty by his child.
The email was quite interesting. What would be more interesting would be to know the reaction of your husband. What does he know of all this, and what does he think of it.
More to the point, what do YOU want to do?
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi,
I'm confused, you are pregnant and married but it's not your husband's. Is that right? So I guess you are 100% sure it is not your husbands in that you never have sex anymore? Otherwise how can you be certain?
I think he is right about something it is turning into a Jerry Springer episode.
But on the flip side, he is being an arse I agree on that. And you are in a very vulnerable position being 7 months pregnant so its not nice for you to go through all this drama.
Is your husband aware that the baby is not his?
Is your relationship unsalvagable?
If its not maybe you can forget about this other man and try and live a life with your real husband and your new baby.
Just an idea.
good luck anyway
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): he seems like an ass to me but also right your. Married you should be over him if your not then you gotta figure it out cuz you have a baby or one is coming I don't know
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): wait your married and your BF left you?
Are you totally nuts? it sounds to me that this guy is trying to do the right thing, what is it your looking for? do you want us to feel sorry for you? From this email it sounds like he is going to step up to the plate for his child but your married so he has moved on... I see nothing wrong on his part yet many things wrong on your part.
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A
male
reader, DuncanGreen +, writes (3 July 2008):
 I think some more background information might be helpful to give you some opinions.
For example, are you married, but were dating him anyways? From the email, it sounds like this is the main argument he uses to justify the split up.
The other point I believe he makes is regarding your child. He appears fully committed to helping raise your child, and believes the best way to do so is to move forward with a split up. I got to this conclusion because I believe he implies that a continued relationship, between the two of you, would bring out the worst in both of you. As such, he asserts that the two of you will need to play your equally important, yet separate roles.
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Looks like he loved you very much. But he is mad that you kicked him out.
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
I'm sorry but you seem CRAZY right now.
YOU HAD AN AFFAIR AGAINST YOUR HUSBAND AND NOW YOUR PREGGY?!
Not a very good move. Seems like you and this guy had a very deep connection. I personally would get a divorce kick the husband out and go after this guy. (Go after the guy first thendump the husband after you get him back incase he doesn't come back you still have finacial support)
Girl, you really messed up, but ima tell you an opion. Decide who you actually love. And give everything to them. Intead of pieces. No more affairs. No more lies. And stop acting like you dont know why. You know darn well why. I'm 15 and i know why you should be able to figure it out.
Only you can fix this
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