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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am 31 years old and the mother of a 14 year old daughter, and 8 year old son. I am single. Anyhow, I decided to go back to school to advance my degree. I am always being hit on by younger guys, on campus, but never really thought much of it. They don't believe my age and most say I look younger than my younger counterparts. So this guy in my class is 22. On the last day of term, he was flirty and walked with me and payed me compliments. I thought he was handsome, and I was intrigued by him in class because he seemed intelligent. We ended up exchanging numbers on and made plans for a upcoming date. He was very sweet, said all the right things and was quite mature for a younger guy, or so I thought. He was calling and texting non-stop and, then, we had a date and it went great! Things got a little spicy back at his place, but I asked to go home before it went too far. He was going to be leaving town and since we had such a good time that night, I agreed to see him before he left when he asked. We ended up having sex and, then, I began to regret things. The next morning I sent him a text telling him I thought he was incredible and just to let him know how I was feeling. No response, all day, until I tried calling him and he didn't answer -- but sent me a text saying he was at lunch. He called after his lunch was over, and I told him I was feeling a little funny about how fast we moved. He said it had only been 2 days, and I shouldn't get excited and just let things take its course. He then asked me to call. I tried calling and he didn't answer, and I have not heard from him since. I am hurt, and confused as to why he went out of his way to say he noticed me all term, bought me a gift, and took me to a fabulous restaurant for dinner. did I get played? He did say early on that he wanted us to see each other after his trip.
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Sorry to say but it does sound like you got played...Sh*ttiest feeling in the world when you realise, but if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger...Chin up and learn from your mistakes :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Oh and just another thought.. the college campus is probably NOT the place to be expecting men/boys to be interested in more than sex.
~Sy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): My guess is yes, you did. I'm sorry. You said "no" to moving faster that first time, and so he wanted to see you again. And then he got what he wanted, so he hasn't been as eager. I think you were playing on his "older woman" fantasy.
You HAVE to protect yourself and your children. If you don't want to get hurt like this again by someone using you for sex, then make SURE this person is really interested in you before you give it to him. That means, he knows you have kids, he's intereted in hearing allll about them, he resepects your boundries and doesn't try to manipulate them, and he's just... genuine. You've probably lived enough to be able to recognize this.
Guard your heart. Be smart. It'll be hard to find a guy who is totally accepting of your family, and ready to take part in it. But until you've found that guy, I really think you should hold off on taking the physical relatiolnship too far. Because to me, you don't seem like one of the person who sees sex as "just sex." You tie emotions and feelings to it. That's why you have to be careful.
~Sy.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (20 August 2009):
I'm not trying to be rude here, but just an asumption since you have children and you're still pretty young, you have't done too much dating have you? I'll be honest with you, you probably freaked him out. After you had sex with him you decided to let him know your feelings. Now he's thinking that you're totally into him etc., etc.
I don't know exactly if you got "played" but I think that you didn't play your cards right. You had sex with him too soon, you've gotten slightly attached already (which appears desperate), and you basically told him that you regretted it. For now, quit calling him--ignore him. When he gets back from vacation see if he contacts you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't and you'll have to let it go; then you'll know if you got played. I don't mean to sound abrasive telling you this, just being honest.
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