A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am confused. I am getting very mixed signals from someone I have known for a while but only a few weeks ago started sleeping with. It started with flirting, a kiss, a drive and then sex, more texting and ending up spending an amazing night in a hotel. Since then things have gone weird. He doesn't know what he wants, but he does want me, it's just that he says I want you, but then I feel bad.What does he feel bad about? We see each other most days, he looks, he check what I do. I try and catch his eyes and he looks away quickly. He is much younger so maybe that's a factor too. He wanted this to be a regular thing, so why does he act so weird now, any ideas ?
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Good one quiet-echo.
Men really are not that hard to get the truth out of. We are horrible at concealing our true intentions. All you need is a few minutes of direct eye contact and a couple simple questions.
I would caution you against the common assumptions about men being single minded and motivated purely by sex. While we are sex hungry, there are deeper issues that govern who we are attracted to and most guys do not fit the stereotype so often used by women.
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 You say he's much younger than you, I'd definately say that this is a factor. If he's younger than 25 I'd say that he wants 'friends with benefits' and you know that you deserve so much more than that! You may like this guy but what you really need is someone on the same emotional maturity level as you. A lot of guys under 25 (of course at the age of 18-20 guys are at their sexual peak) and view committment of any kind as a bad thing. He says he 'wants you' but he wants you on HIS terms, not yours. Go carefully, if you're happy with his terms, all well and good, but if not, I really think you need someone closer to your age. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 November 2009):
He might be shy after what happened. I'm seeing an older woman, and at first I was nervous. Perhaps you should genlty ask him if he's okay or if anything is wrong. He may be afraid of getting it wrong with you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Maybe he only wanted regular sex, maybe he is rethinking his position, maybe he is married or has a girlfriend, how much younger, maybe he is so young he really doesnt know what he wants.Leave him alone for a while, if the relationship is meant to be he will come back.
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