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He said if things ever go wrong between him and his girlfriend I'd be first on his list. I don't like second-best but I like him so much. Help!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 January 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

For the first time in my life i beleive i have finally meet someone that i acutally fancy which is really rare for me.

Ive been talking to him now for about a month and hes great, hes got a great personality hes a dab hand at doing card tricks and his looks are just what i would go for. Hes lovely and i really like him.

Despite us only talking for a month we have gotten really close real quickly, and last night he was talking on facebook and he revealed that he really liked me and i revealed i really liked him too. But then thats when he dropped a bomb shell :( he told me he had a girlfriend but he was thinking of dumping her because things hadn't been good between them.

I of course was real happy he liked me but told him not to make any rash decisions and think about it as i could never take away someones happiness for my own.

He thought about it and today he told me that he wants to give his gf another chance and strangely even though i only fancy him it really hurt and ruined my mood for the rest of the day.

We talked later on and he said he was really sorry and if things ever go wrong between him and his gf i'll be first on his list which made me kinda feel like second best. Hes been being real flirty on chat tho and he has said he likes me just as much as he does his gf.

I really like him and i don't know what to do :( i don't want to be second best but i find it hard to not talk to him because i like him so much. Please make sense of this for me what should i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your advice. I take it all into concsideration so thankyou. I have meet him in real life and infact i have invited him to my 15th so were gonna talk abit more then.

I'm not just gonna lay down and let him have his cake and eat it as you say. And i have told him now he has got to make a decision me or someone else after he makes that decision it will depend on everything. Thanks for your advice.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (27 January 2012):

TasteofIndia agony auntDon't let him have his cake and eat it too. I wouldn't settle for being the back up girlfriend or the consolation prize. If he really likes you and wants to do the honorable thing, he'll dump his girlfriend. But, if he wants to stay with her - that's his choice and that should be final for you.

You should move on. Don't stand waiting in his queue. You're way better than that, and you deserve a lot more than that. You should begin to move on and keep your eyes open for other eligible, card handling cuties. And, if in time he breaks up with her and has kept you in mind and seeks you out, okay. But don't hold your breath and make him think that he's just got you waiting for him in the event of a break up. He is so not worth that!!

Good luck!

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A male reader, eek United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2012):

eek agony auntnever settle for second best. You can not be happy that way.

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A female reader, AbigailBradbury United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2012):

AbigailBradbury agony auntThis guy is trying to have the best of both world it seems my love.

He wants his girlfriend for the commitment, however he wants the fun and excitement of talking to you.

I think this guy is bad news babe.

how would you feel if you were his girlfriend...

and you found out what he'd been saying to you.

You shouldn't be flirting with this guy, you should be warning his girlfriend what a flirty cheat he is.

I know you like him and you can't help who you have feelings for, but you've been talking for one month... hardly long

and i'm guessing you've never met him??

He seems like a douche.

And if he's like this when he has a girlfriend, if you ever did get with him what's to say he wouldn't do the same to you?

Why would you want to put yourself through that hun xx

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A female reader, Loulabell31 United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2012):

This all sounds awful from the start, he sound likea realmoron to be frank. He may seem nice but if he was any kind of decent guy he wouldn't have said any of that stuff about his girlfriend or flirted with you in that respect!

If you did end up as his back up, he'd be doing this behind your back to!

Take care of yourself and be aware there are so many Wolves in sheep's clothing.

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