A
female
age
30-35,
*sabrinax
writes:Dear agony aunts and uncles I met this guy last year, we became friends and then i began to like him more than a friend. A few months later we kissed and we ended up sleeping together in the same bed but it went no further than that. He withdrew and i didn't see him again till a few weeks later. then the same thing happened again. I tried to put him to the back of my mind and concentrated on me and kept busy. lately i was going to a friend of a friends birthday party and he was also going, he had made arrangements to come by my friends home and pick up something he had left there and go onto the party and see us later in the evening. when he turned up at my friends home we got chatting and he was making more of an effort to give me his attention we had a few drinks and he then started flirting with me which i laughed off and then we all headed off to the party together. later in the evening he was still trying hard to get my attention and when other guys tried to chat to me he became quite protective and put his arm around me just hugging me keeping me close. at the end of the night me and my friend decided we were going back to her house i was quite tired and wanted to go back to hers and sleep off the alcohol. so we left and headed back to hers. we stopped off at a little night cafe, and we had only been sitting for about 10 mins and he walks in, my friend immediately shouts him over to come sit with us, and i decide to go outside get some fresh air he then follows outside. turns out he had texted my friend so he could come meet us.well he starts telling me how much he really likes me and how amazing he thought i was. i explained how it made me feel when he withdrew and he apologised and hugged me tight told me he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again we ended up kissing.when we got to my friends house she went to bed and we were left alone we decided to go to the spare room and try get some sleep, but that didnt we lay cuddled up talking all night. He told me that he had thought about getting into a relationship with me but was scared incase it didnt work out. i told him that there was no need to be scared and that we should just see where it goes.anyway we got caught up in the moment and we ended up having sex which was great. but hes withdrawn again when he left he said he would give me a text which he did a few days later to which i replied a day after also just being casual friendly but not giving too much away. he didnt reply after that. so again a few weeks passed and me and my friends were out and he was out and my friend shouted him over i smiled politely but he made no effort towards me so i walked off and i didnt see him again that night. well last week i was out again with my friends and he approached me and tried to apologise again and explain himself he also tied to kiss me to which i avoided and walked off. i dont understand he's known i liked him all along yet hes reeled me and reeled me out i just dont know what to think anymore and i dont know what to do either, we have friends of friends so were going to run into each other.
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female
reader, xsabrinax +, writes (14 January 2015):
xsabrinax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your replies, im not going to waste another minute thinking about it now. im going to put it to the back of my mind and when I do find myself in his company again I will be sure to tell him that im not interested in playing these silly games. I dont go around sleeping with just anybody, and i will not be sleeping with him again. apparently he was devastated when i rejected his kiss. But not devastated enough to act on it. well its his loss im not going to dwell over it any longer. thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2015): I agree with Honeypie.
Leave sex out of it; because that may be his only agenda. Just having a FWB available for booty calls.
I wouldn't put much stock in a a person who runs hot and cold. You'll waste too much time trying to figure him out.
Who has time for childish games and foolishness? If he can't man-up and be consistent, why waste your time and feelings? He sounds a bit goofy to me. Or, he just may be a very sly player!
I mean seriously?!! He chases you around, then ignores you.
You're better-off with a guy who has his act together.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (12 January 2015):
 I would just tell him, look I like you but I'm not interested in dating a yo-yo. If you are interested GIVE me a chance, if not, leave me alone.
And then YOU stop sleeping with him and absolutely no sex.
Decide how LONG you are willing to give him to decide what he wants. Let's say a couple of months, after that, feel free to date anyone YOU are interested in.
If he does decide he wants more, then go out on dates, do things together (SOBER) but hold off on the sex. As you both kind of jumped the gun there. DO NOT sleep with him thinking that sex will make him WANT to date you.
Personally though, He knows where you stand and hasn't really made an effort. Being "scared" of dating will get him no where. That is like being scared of getting out of bed in the morning because you could get hit by a truck. My guess is he is using the "scared" of relationships in order to not have to commit to a girl. That way he can stay single and check out ALL his options. So personally, I'd let this one go.
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