A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He annoys me so much now, it's like he's playing hard to get with me and I'm sick of such childish games when we're into 3 months now. I'm the one who sends the texts and messages, who organizes the dates. He takes more than a day to reply and he has never sent me a message first since we started dating. He's had problems and has barely any friends at school (we're both 16) and we live quite a distance away, we've only seen each other 5 times in 3 months... When I ask to see him he makes up crappy excuses (I'm sick, I have stuff to sort out) blah blah... It doesn't take 2 weeks to recover from pizza at pizza hut...I'm not usually this testy but why should I bother trying if he doesn't try at all? We were both each others first gay boyfriends/kisses/sex, so I guess he's quite special to me, but still he ignores me now, so should I not send him anything for a week, to see how he reacts? If he doesn't should I dump him? I'm going to be so heart broken and depressed if I dump him though, but I'll be less frustrated. I already organized a date this Saturday, my plan is that if he doesn't contact me for details, maybe I'll rant to him then dump him.Thanks for reading my rant and answering my question ?
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male
reader, Lost in the Malestom  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Move on. You will always have that special place in your heart for your, "first". However he seems to be trying to distance himself from you. He may be wanting you to break it off, it would be easier on him. Be the bigger man, contact him, tell him how you feel, and then tell him you are moving on. You will get over it, you will find someone who loves you, respects you, and wants to be with you, constantly.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 If you want to, and you prioritize correctly, you WILL have time for each other. So really it's just crap that he says he's too busy with school, while he even admits to dedicating all his time to himself.
Better let this bloke go and find someone less selfish.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 I'm sorry your week has been crappy, but in answer to your question: no don't wait for him, have you heard the expression life is what happens while we are deciding how to live our lives.
Just get on with living, he really isnt a decent sort, his comment about if he gets back in touch its because he wants a relationship is just his slimy way of keeping his foot in the door .... move on, concentrate on getting your school work back up to scratch before you think about finding a new relationship
good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Aw hunny don't worry. Look let me tell you something. When I was in college I went through a phase where I wanted nothing serious. I just wanted to date with no attachments. I was having fun being single, hanging with my friends, exploring the big city I had just moved to. But obviously I still dated. It was often hard for me to explain to guys that nothing was ever going to come of it. They always thought I was playing hard to get. I would take my time returning calls. I would cancel dates all the time. I wasn't playing hard to get. If I wasn't available for one person usually it was because I was out with somebody else. That's the honest truth. Not only that but my heart wasn't in it with any particular person so I wasn't sitting around waiting for anyone's phone call, I barely noticed who called. If I had the time and felt like it, I would return the call. It was a selfish moment in my life but one I am thankful I went through because I learned alot about myself, about dating, about men. I am a woman so I was trained to be in ONE relationship or always be looking for THE ONE. And I chose to do things differently.
Basically what I am getting at is that when someone is not returning your calls, not putting forth any effort, chances are it is NOT that he is playing hard to get, it is just that his heart is just not in it, for whatever reason.
I am sorry I know it hurts, especially since your options are so limited right now. But you need to be strong. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger and wiser. So let it be. Focus on school, on college, give it time, good things will come, I promise. Take care.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 I suggest, dont contact him and dont moan if he doesnt turn up then leave it. keep leaving it, be busy, and wait for him to talk. Give it two weeks and if not, have a talk on feelings and where its going. then deside x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just sent him a message saying I needed a break, this was his response:
"fair enough i mean i wasn't too sure myself, i find it hard to be in a relationship, i'm not able to give the attention that you need, i've always been more of a bachelor and to be honest i need to sort things out in my life because i've got things going on too, i promised myself i'd change my life around but all i've done is the same sh** as always, i like you and do want a relationship trust me, i just find it hard because i dunno what to do or say, i dedicate all my time to myself, not out of selfishness but out of habit, i understand if it stresses you out, and i understand if you'd just want to dump me all together, i wouldn't hold it against you, i think it'd be for the best, at least till maybe we finish school or sumthin and we both have more time on our hands, i'm gald you've said something really because i think i've been afraid to say it all along, i dunno what to do, but if i get back in touch then it means that the only time i have is for you"
Sorry if I didn't translate some of it correctly, because I had to translate from Icelandic to English.
Now that he has replied it has given me closure, but I still am a bit sad, but now what? Do I wait for him? I probably won't find another boyfriend till university because I'm in the closet.
This week has been so crap already, I've lost my boyfriend, my school work is lagging behind and I found out I have Huntington's. I feel like crap TBH...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (5 December 2010):
Save your breath and don't bother ranting at him, before you dump him, it sounds like he isn't worth any extra effort.
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