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He lied about his age, should I see him again?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 April 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2011)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok I got know this guy over the phone, we talk everyday and text. recently went on a date with him and found out he lied about his age. Turns out he is 9 yrs older tha me, there were a few other little things that I didnt really like, but these would be minor compared to him being dishonest about his age.

The problem is I do really like him, he is considerate and caring, but I don't know if I should see him again, or stop all contact with him because of this, and how would I do that without hurting his feelings and finally would the age gap be a problem?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you everyone for your answers,

Well just to say i decided not to see this guy again and we stopped contacting eachother.

It wasnt so much the age difference, because i felt like i really did like him, so that wouldnt really have mattered that much, but i couldnt understand why he lied and when i confronted him he denied ever telling me that he was 30, im 26, like i just imagined that!,when i know thats exactly what he told me. So good luck to him :)

Thanks for your input.x

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (11 April 2011):

tennisstar88 agony aunt

Does the fact that you like this guy outweigh him lying about his age, and the other things you don't like about him? If so, then proceed on seeing him. Now if you answered "no" to this question, then let it go. He's a grown man, he can handle rejection.

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A female reader, nester United States +, writes (11 April 2011):

If he lied about his age then what makes you think that he wont about anything else. so just forget about this one and move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 April 2011):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly I would start to wonder what else he lied about to get you to met him. And what else he WILL lie about to get you in bed. But that is just because I'm a jaded person .

Yeah, I think I would call him out on the lie. See how he reacts and what "explanation" he uses. It could be that he just didn't want you to think of him as "old". Simple as that.

If he is 9 years older then you he is in his mid 30's? Not married?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 April 2011):

chigirl agony auntIf he had been honest with you from the beginning it wouldn't have been a problem. But even if you really like him, you can not trust this man. He lied about something as simple as his age. That shows his true character, someone who will lie to get what he wants, someone who doesn't respect you enough to be honest, someone who cares primarily about himself. Taking one or two years off your age, that happens more often and isn't as serious, but 9 years?!?! That's a decade!

These few others things you didn't like just add on to it: this isn't a guy for you! And what other skeletons are hiding in his closet I wonder? Perhaps a kid or two he didn't tell you about? Perhaps some debts here and there too?

He's way too risky, with red flags all over. The only thing you can expect if you continue to see this man is more disappointments, and if you accept this huge lie you will come to accept more and more crap from him too.

You really like him? There's plenty of other guys out there to like. Perhaps even some worthy of love, but this guy isn't it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011):

well to be honest he did lie about certain things but maybe thats because they're his flaws that he's afraid to show you. His age shouldnt matter unless your very shallow. my dad is fifteen years older than my mam so an age difference of nine years shouldn't matter cause both your maturity levels will be about the same now. :) they have been married for over thirty years. Give him a chance to let him explain himself. Depending on what exactly he has lied about is another thing to take into consideration and for how long has he been lying to you. If you like him then go for it.

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A male reader, thomas1214 Canada +, writes (11 April 2011):

he was being dishonest before the first date. red flags going off BUT you still like him...

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