A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has tried to get me to orgasm a few times. Every time he does, he ends up stopping halfway through the process and asking me how much longer I'm going to be. It frustrates and even offends me to no end because when he says that, it completely kills my mood for any kind of sex. I end up faking an orgasm just so that he'll stop trying. It's annoying to me, because we rarely try to make me orgasm, which is mostly my fault because I prefer to pleasure him verses myself. I don't know what to do about it, I'm afraid if I say something to him, he'll get mad and won't listen. Or he might take what I say as more of an insult than a suggestion. How do I mention it without him getting really upset about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. It's just a pain because I love him so much, and outside of bed he's a good person. I just don't understand how he could possibly think asking me was going to hurry the process up! Thank you all.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Sorry to say, but he sounds like an oaf (to be polite). It takes as long as it takes. Every girl is different and every time is different. Sometimes, I lick my girlfriend for a less than 5 minutes and she is quivering all over the bed. Other times I get lock jaw after 15 minutes and she cums. But no matter how long it takes, I NEVER ask her. I might ask her if she likes a certain thing I am doing to her, but it is really insensitive to ask her if she is there yet. He sounds like a little kid in the back seat of a car. You need to find a better lover.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Get him to grow up?He has an awful lot to learn about women. If his ego is that fragile I'm afraid you have a tough job on your hands...
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 April 2011):
 By talking to him openly about it. He may get a little offended but it's better he knows. You don't have to attack him, and if you address this correctly, he shouldn't be upset. Here's a sample of what I think you should say.
"You know how you ask me how close I am to having an orgasm? That ruins the mood for me. I'd like to try giving you more guidance and feedback as we go, so that way you don't have to stop and ask. I don't want you to think I don't appreciate you as a lover, but you've shown an interest in learning how to pleasure me, and I want to help you learn the best way. I love what we do, and I think this can make it even better. Are you willing to give it a try?"
Basically, you need to communicate with him during sex. Give him feedback, tell him what's working, what you want, etc. It's the only way he'll learn.
NOW, if you're telling him already, and he's not taking direction, then that's another problem entirely.
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