A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Met guy really liked him his way younger then me though! We met through work.he liked me for bout 4 weeks, kept catching him major staring. Then I got speaking to him, through msn! I researched through friends who he was, as saw him in the same company as me, though different department. Anyway he asked me for coffee. Really liked him but felt our 12 year age gap was just too far apart. So I said nothing serious ok! He said looking for serious and if I'm not then not worth effort. We spoke on phone and text all time for bout week before one night we met up, we slept together, it was about this time I decided just how much I liked him. We were in same career, he was what I thought was wonderful, very funny, gorgeous and acted and looked much older then 22. So I told him this, his response was he's thought about things and doesn't know what he wants. Anyway after sleeping together I never heard from him again! I can't understand why? The sex was good, so even on that level why not again? I've seen him in the office and he just ignores me! Doesn't even look at me or register I'm there. I tried speaking to him but no give. He said busy and take care. I'm trying to figure out why his gone from mr relationship and then mr nothing like that! It's been 3 weeks almost 4 since it's happened and I stupidly can't stop thinking about him. Despite age gap I thought we were perfect for each other. Same taste in music, films, same sense humour, same values etc. I feel in a way he doesn't know me and I think that's my biggest bug bear that he cast me aside without knowing who I am or what I'm like. And yet his looking for a relationship. Also another thing, which really I should focus on as I thought was rude and disrespectful, he high fived me after sex! Yep it's now a running joke amongst my friends lol! We had finished the second time and he put his hand up to high five me, I did do it back! But because I was in shock! I mean no kiss or cuddle afterwards just a high five! Now I'm not sure if that is his immaturity coming out or he is just an arsehole even more? Seems all men even boys are same, are there any decent men out there?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MoonLux  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 I hope you realize that this is probably not the one to put effort on. Imagine an actual relationship that required high fives after sex. Yikes. No good. Also, I think he gave you an indication of how he's not made up his mind, from Mr. Relationship to "I don't know what I want". I'm sorry to say this, but just because you guys had sex, doesn't mean that indicates a beginning of a relationship. You move on. Maybe you think about this guy because of the lack of communication/contact/closure. Your curious mind makes him interesting. I think you maybe disappointed because there's a high probability of immaturity from a high fiver after sex.
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (5 November 2010):
 OOPS! I meant to say *blindfold* My bad.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (5 November 2010):
I think EVERY ONE gave EXCELLENT advice!!! So..you can blind yourself and pick out an agony Aunt's advice and come out a WINNER!!!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2010):
 You know you were right worrying about the 12 year age gap..high fiving you after sex is not only weird but a sign of immaturity.
Hook, line, sink..He played the looking to get serious card, took the time to talk to you and get you hooked, then charms your pants right off you. Unfortunately, this is one of those losers who fail to mention this is a one night, no strings attached deal beforehand. You had your guard down, it happens.
It's good you found some humor out of this situation though. Yes, there are good men out there, make sure you overturn every stone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): You have nothing in common with him, he was only making you feel as if you had a lot in common so he could get you in the sack. Once he did, he showed you his true colors and also his immaturity
Move on, you aren't missing anything with this immature fool. Really, a high five? Who does that?
Did you give him a low five in return?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Sadly it sounds like a one night stand or a booty call.
Three massive signs:
Telling you he doesnt know what he wants.
Ignoring you at work after the event.
High fiving you after sex...hmmm...tacky!!
Don't get down about it, you just got taken in. Learn from it, see it for what it is and move on.
Hugs xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 November 2010):
I'm 23, and can't say I've ever high fived my girlfriend, who is just a bit older than you (35). But then I'm not really immature, and I actually care about my girlfriend.
I suspect that this young guy reeled you in and used you. I don't think he ever was looking for a relationship as such. I think he was just looking for sex, and unfortunately you thought he was better than that. That's not your fault. It's just the way some people are. He sounds completely immature anyway, so I wouldn't bother with him again.
Sorry you got used. There are decent guys out there though. Just take it slow when you meet one.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (4 November 2010):
Ok... Here's what happened you was his challenge, either with himself or with his friends either way you was a challenge. nevertheless. And the high 5? Well that was his way of saying "THANKS!" Goal Accomplishment. It's the same as any other HIGH 5. You was blinded by his GAME coming into HIS goal. He had to set his "STRATEGY" To get to his become Ultimate goal. And now you're one his notches on his belt. Take it has a place in somebody life story. or take it being USED. I don't mind being USED if I can't be of USE then that will only make me a USELESS person. LETS NOT, not get that confused with being MISUSED. For you to allow him to continued USING YOU, would be my perfect example of MISUSE.
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