A
female
age
41-50,
*anet5
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 9 years, he never had a job in 9 years, only 2 times he had a job for like a month each job.. I m a dancer so more money is not necesary to live well, but it is necesary because all he cares about is to play xbox and to watch tv, i used to love him a lot, i still love him but everytime i ask him to find a job he says he will and he kind of look for something for 1 or 2 days and then back to the usual.. i feel like i have a child that needs me to tell him what to do. he says he loves me but i wonder if he is with me just cause i suport him? we have no kids. what can i do? we have been togheter so long, he is a good person but he is lazy and i dont think he cares about anything in the future. he says he just wants to be with me, we are not married, I wanted to get married long time ago, and he didnt want to, now he wants to get married and i wonder if i should, he has nothing to offer. he has a record from 10 years ago, nothing sirius but he says thats why nobody wants to hire him. Is a person like this going to change? would he ever become a working person if somebody gives him the chance or he just likes to be lazy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): All my husband cares about is sports on tv,online gaming and beer.Typical man.The thing that is very untypical about my husband is that when I need him emotionaly he is there for me. Money comes and goes.In a lasting relationship only true love can keep it together.Stay strong and things will get better=)
A
female
reader, happy MoM  +, writes (8 April 2011):
9 years is a long time and if the worst of your problems is getting him to do more you should feel blessed!9 years is a long time for any man to stick around, so he must be in love with and committed to you.In nearly that same time I have been married and divorced 3 times.My husband's were too busy abusing and cheating on me.At least you know where he is.Further more, jobs can be hard to come by these days.This coming from someone, who like many other's was recently fired from my job of several years due to downsizing and outsourcing.Something that is still on his record would further limit him.Things are tough in the job market.But,STAND BY YOUR MAN GIRL!
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 9 years and no job? And you are just starting to get bothered by this? I think its time whether you want to be married to a man or a boy. If all he does is play XBox and you've allowed it to continue for this long, I see no reason why he wouldn't want to marry you. That way he'll have a permanent meal ticket.Hopefully this guy offers something of value. You don't mention too much more about him but I hope that if you are considering him as marriage material, you'll look at whether he is "father" material. And let's face it, as you get older, your dancing skills will likely be less resourceful (not sure what kind of dancer you are, but generally their careers tend to be viable while one is younger).Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hotinlove +, writes (5 April 2011):
I find it hard to believe that this man "wants" to marry you. He knows you will continue to take care of him regardless, you already have shown that you will. I think its time YOU grow and up and tell him to get a life! he doesnt understand what it means to be a real man and never will unless you give him a swift kick in the ass....get rid of him, he sounds likes hes more trouble than hes worth!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2011):
 I would not marry him.He needs to pull his own weight financiallyTrust me from experience a man not pulling his weight financially will pull you down and wear on you and and eventualy it will errode the relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2011):
Your boyfriend is a loser. Get rid of him.
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