A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:I just moved 2 weeks ago with my bf. We have been together for 6 months. He is a good guy and he has always been patient with me and my issues. But, he can be so difficult at times. Right now, I am unemployed, and he is paying the rent and my mother is helping us with the utilites, internet/cable, and food until I get a job. Im on an active search for one soon. Even though my mom has been so kind to help us out, he is always putting me down and saying how he is paying more and I have to do everythig he says. For example, he got mad at me, because I wanted to shower 2 times a day. He said I was wasting water, even though he takes longer showers than I do. Also, he dislikes my mom, because her and I talk on the phone a lot. Yes i understand, I shouldnt talk when he is at home, with her because it should be our time together but he doesnt like her and complains about it all the time. Next, I stay at home and organzie our place and cook for him and he comes home and complains about the food and telling me why I didnt vacumm or how I left something unclean. I don't know, if he is acting this way, because his dad use to treat him badly when he lived with him, but I find this so unacceptable. Also, he gets really mad at me if I don't listen to me, and he calls me a liar, to shut the hell up and curses at me, to the point where once we were moving with his dad and he cursed at me, infront of his dad and his dad scolded him. He got mad, because I didnt put the mattress cover on, when he left my mom and dad and I with all the furniture while he went to get the keys for the apartment. I told him, I told my dad to put the mattress cover on but he had such a difficult time putting it in the truck, he put it without the mattress cover. So my bf got really mad at me and started blaming it for it. Also, I have really bad anxiety and he has OCD and anxiety. And sometimes to be honest, his anxiety attacks stress me out, because I'm already on edge and having someone freak out everyday because something isnt clean right or he had a hard day at work is very difficult. I still try to be understanding because I have my own anxiety issues, that he helps me with, but I feel like I will never get better if I stay with someone like this. Don't get me wrong, I do love him and care about him, but I really don't know what to do anymore and don't know if this is a healthy relationship or not. Im 22 and he is 26.Thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 I can understand with his OCD that this can be difficult for you, both having anxiety does not help. But sweetie he is being emotionally abusive to you, this will only get worse. You need to leave now while you can. Talk to your mother, tell her what is going on, I am sure she will support you. Live with her until you get on your feet. But this relationship is not healthy and I wouldn't put up with someone treating me so badly.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2016): It will get worse. He won't start being nice once you get a job. moving in with him before you were financially independant was not a smart move. True. But I am pretty sure he will find something else to complain about once you start working.You have one asset some people like him might find comforting - you are dependant. In their heads it may mean that you will stick with him no matter what.I would tell him I love him and wish to be in a relationship with him, and that I need time to find a job etc. and I would move out and go back to my mum's. I would really put myself first, focus on my own issues not him and his. He is there because for some reason you need him to be. Even if it is dstructive for some reason you need that experience.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (14 February 2016):
This is a very difficult situation to be in.First of all by virture of the fact that you are not working-does not give him the right to boss and control you the way he is doing-this is totally out of order and must not continue.Its very kind of your mum to help you out at this time and while your boyfriend does not like her-she is due Respect from him.As you stated-I QUOTE YOU-Is this a healthy relationship to be in.The answer right now is NO.Would you consider having a chat with your boyfriend and suggesting you both go and see a counsellor,because i feel he may not listen to you.You are a young person and must look after your own health and finding a job.Because what he is doing is DOWNLOADING HIS STRESS AND PROBLEMS TO YOU AND YOU THEN you carry overload.Would it be possible for you to live with your mum for awhile until you find a job and a flat.Maybe meeting your boyfriend for a date.This way it would give you both a break from each other and then you could decide what you really want for your future.But you must be POSITIVE about your health and your future.If he really loves he will wait.Kind regards NORA.B.
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A
female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (14 February 2016):
 imo this isint worth it. he seems very emotionally abusive! if i were you id move back home and find someone else. noone should put up with this kind of treatment...after you find a job im pretty sure hell just find other reasons to put you down.
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