A
female
age
36-40,
*aniejones
writes:About 5 months ago, I began seeing this guy. We really clicked but looking back, our "relationship" basically amounted to week-end hookups with very little communication in between. I wanted more, but never said anything - just tried to go with the flow.Then he broke things off with me, saying that even though he really enjoyed hanging out with me, that what we had was "unhealthy" and that he needed something more. He wanted to remain friends. So I said fine. Couple of months passed.Last couple of weeks, he started texting me a lot, wondering what I was up to, wanting to make good on the promise that we remain friends. We met up, he seemed really excited to see me, and then we ended up sleeping together.What is this guy's deal? Why does he tell me he wants to be friends, refuse to see me for months, and then all of a sudden want to see me again?
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 This guy does not want you, likes to have sex with you now and then. Because he can.
He is using you like an object and you let him whenever he gets bored or are in between other sex buddies. Keeps his sex life interesting!
If you do not want to be used like this, stop him.
Make him choose friends or lovers, but both of you must get mutual enjoyment out of whatever you both decide to be.
If his idea of being friends is with benefits then tell him to get lost. Otherwise you will get hurt.
Be strong and stand your ground!
Good luck
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 He only wants you for sex. Sorry to be harsh. He disappeared for a while but came back as soon as he was horny. Don't put up with it. If he wanted to be with you he would be.
CD
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (18 January 2007):
Yes he has obviously missed you and now is trying to persue you again, without the pressure of having to commit. Sounds like thats what is worrying him. I would for a while just go with the flow be cool casual and the best girl ever to hang out with. Keep your guard up, date other men, keep going out with your friends and doing interesting independant things. Plan your life like your on your own and single. Let him slot in when it suits you not him. He will soon see you as independant and not needing him and this will make you even more attractive to him. Good luck. hang on in there if he is what you want.
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A
female
reader, appygal81 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 personally it sounds as though he is really afraid to commmit. ask him, and see if thats the deal...if he feels he is getting too close to you he will back away just as suddenly as he came into your life...if you cant handle that, u need to let him know and find your self a reliable guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): One of two things. He is a player, Or he realized that he really wants to be with you. Give it a little time. We as men are funny creatures. Give it time, try to see him without having sex and see what he thinks of that. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. Do you want to be with him? If so give him what he wants. Good luck.
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