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He doesn't want me! How can I get him to change his mind?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2011)
A female Seychelles age 22-25, *ika111 writes:

i want to be his girlfriend but he's not ready for a new relationship right now. i don't want no one else i want only him what can i do to make him change his mind and say yes i want you to be my girl before this year end

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A female reader, No watered down advice here! United States +, writes (23 November 2011):

No watered down advice here! agony auntI don't need more info. I need you to realize he don't want you. But, guess what? It's somebody else out there that will love and adore you! Sorry, but that person isn't him. Think of it as; it's his lost.

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

PerhapsNot agony auntImagine one of your guy friends, who you have absolutely no interest in, asking you to be his girlfriend. He is going out of his way to convince you that he is the man of your dreams. How would you feel? You know that nothing he says or does will change your mind because you simply don't have those types of feelings for him - THIS is how your love interest feels. Someone either wants to be with you you, or they don't. No one can force love on someone, just like no one can force you to love them. It happens organically, or it doesn't.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (22 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is simply not ready for a relationship. He just does not feel for you the way that you feel for him. It is sad but that is life and life must go on. You need to accept his decision. You say you love him, well then listen to him when he tells you it is not what he wants. Drop contact with him and move forward with your life. You need to try and start getting over this guy. I take it he is just out of another relationship. He needs time to process that and grieve that relationship. You need to give him space to himself. He has told you he is not ready so accept that and give him the space he needs. Focus your time and attention on friends and family and keeping yourself busy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011):

You probably already know this but you CANT make someone want to be with you. Sometimes in life, it just isnt the right time.

If you really like this guy, you should give him space. Be a friend to him, get to know him and show him fun times with you (suggest he go out to the movies or to dances or to other activities) just as friends and nothing more.

In time if you are meant to be he will realise and seek you!

But if you continually ask him to like you, or pine over him secretly, you will only get hurt - both him or yourself

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntNothing you can do. You can't force someone to love you. If you can only love him, how do other people who really like you feel. Stay single, that's best for you right now. Don't wait, the guy is being kind. He doesn't love you, and one day he will find someone he does to love and you will be sad. That is life - we can't choose who to fall in love with.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwell we need more info

who is he to you?

how long have you known him

why isn't he ready for a relationship is he freshly out of one?

tell me about times you spend together

to be honest you cannot make someone love you or want to have a relationship with you if they don't want to.

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