A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The past month or two, my boyfriend has been using my computer because his has a virus on it. He has been deleting the history. But then he lies about deleting the history and says that there must be a comptuer "glitch"! I know he is doing this because the websites I go on are still there, but the sites he goes on are gone!I think maybe he does this because he is looking at porn or keeping in touch with other girls online. I also believe he is deleting his text messages. He knows I look at his phone. In the beginning of our relationship, I thought he was committed to me, but he was still in touch with other females. I look at it from time to time, because he is getting ready to propose, and get joint things togehter and I want to make sure he is not still in contact with those girls.He swears he doesn't still talk to them, but randomly some of them will call or text or send him forwards. Sometimes late at night. He tells me he doesn't answer them back, but I don't really believe him.What can I do? I have no proof about the texting because I believe he deletes things. And with the computer thing, I know he is lying, but he keeps swearing its a computer "glitch". What do I do? He knows how much I hate lying and that it is a deal break for me...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): Don't married him if you don't trust him. If you do it, it will be a big mistake. You can not get married with someone that you don't trust. Don't do it. It will finish in divorse.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Babe when your relationship has got to the stage where you are constantly having to check up on him it's time to call it quits. He's obviously doing something dodgey and you obviously don't trust him. You don't want to spend your life feeling like this.
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A
female
reader, kahlan  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 He's treating you like an idiot. I had an ex that did things like this then told me i was imagining things and that i must be nuts. Some days i didn't know whether i was coming or going and started second guessing myself.
You definatly know he's deleating things from the computer (i suppose you know how to look in the computer recycle bin-if not go to the recycle bin then click left on the mouse-or is he deleating that too). Someone innocent has no need to do this or to delete their texts or messages.Plus the girls getting in touch is all the proof you need that he's lying.
You deserve someone better who won't lie and cheat. They cause nothing but heartache. If it was me i'd dump him.
Good Luck. Kahlan.
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A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (19 April 2010):
 I cant tell you if it's like that but I have a lots of female friends and my girlfriend had always problem with me talking to them. I also deleted some stuff from my pc but it was only porn and about text messages I mean trust him a little bit because this is kinda sign that you don't trust him.
I let my girlfriend check my phone but i got nothing to hide although there were some girls hitting on me by texts and i erased those because i didn't want her to get the wrong idea.
I would sit down with him and talk it over that it little suspicious if he's a good guy and loves you he won't care about you checking it.
If he declines and you will have more doubts you can always take his phone to specialist and check all messages because they are still on the phone and same with computer ,but i would do this as last resort.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): You can purchase Spectorsoft it is a software that you download to your computer, costs $99.00 and it records every key stroke and website that some one goes to on your computer. It is undetectable and you would be the only one with access in which to view what is happening on your computer. You access it with 4 different keys and no one can possibly hit all four of those keys together unless they know about it. It maybe worth the $100.00 to find out before you marry someone that will eventually break your heart.
Good luck to you. Watching porn sites together can strengthen your relationship but if he is doing it behind your back, it is degrading and makes you feel like they are cheating and he is being disrespectful to you.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (19 April 2010):
 It sounds like this is a trust issue, but bear in mind that there may be other reasons he may be deleting history. For example I deleted history on my PC when I was plannning a supprise holiday for my girlfriend. I am not saying thats the case here, but just wanted to give another example why.
If you seriously doubt him, there is software available called key stroke logging / logger, just search google for it, you may have to pay or it may be free.
Basically its purpose is to record all key presses in a stelth mode so you can review later what has been typed, you will instantly know whats going on then.
However I would only recommend doing this if you are sure its what you want to know.
Hope it works out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if was a 'glitch' or a 'virus' it would delete all history not just his. If you're getting ready to marry this man I would think hard about it. The internet is a scary place, hey i'm giving you advice on it and we haven't even met!
All I would say is there has to be an element of trust and if it doesnt feel right and you think he is lying then you will just end up so paranoid and it will mess with your head. Remember you can probably only check the history on your own PC what happens when he starts using his own or goes to work (if uses PC there) so decision time can you let it go?
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A
female
reader, ShadowGirl +, writes (19 April 2010):
Ok, so. Just trust him more, I mean jeez, give the guy a little credit! I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. If he is ready to propose chances are YOU are the one who makes him happy. If he wan'ts to propose he obviously, genuinely loves you and hopes that you will trust him.
Sometimes, certain websites need to have their history deleted because it can carry viruses. And obviously the reason your history is still on there is because you don't delete your history. Also, stop going through his phone. It's an invasion of privacy. Just ask yourself how you would feel if he didn't trust you.
ShadowGirl -- Out!
xx
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