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He delays fixing things around the house. What can I do with him? Yet he freaks if I call a tradesman!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am so frustrated with my husband. It takes him forever to get around to fixing things around the house.

It's not that he's not capable.

It's not that he doesn't have the time or money.

It's not that I push him to do things every week-end.

But for instance, the toilet in his bathroom broke 2 months ago and I've said absolutely nothing about it, thinking he would get to it when he was ready.

Granted I didn't think it would take him 2 months! Yet he whines about having to use my bathroom and we collide on busy mornings when we're both getting ready for work.

Finally we have a 3 day weekend and no plans to go out of town to see his family. I thought for sure he'd set aside some time to tackle it. But no, he's sat on the computer watching youtube videos for most of the week-end and basically pissed the time away doing nothing.

I realize week-ends are for relaxing and that's what we did all day Saturday. Sunday and came and went with much the same results. Finally when he was bitching about his toilet, I mentioned that we still had tomorrow and maybe we should start working on it. OMG!

All hell broke lose over that remark. He went on and on and on about how I "push" him to do projects when he's not in the mood. Really? It's been 2 months! You would think he'd stop procrastinating and get it done. And God knows if I call a plumber I'll never hear the end of it.

It's just so frustrating! We definatley approach things differently! When things break I think they should be fixed.

Maybe not immediately. Sometimes you have to decide how and when to do something but 2 months? It's a friggin' toilet. How hard can it be to replace it? We have the money.

I even offered to help him,like I do on everything that we do around the house. Why is he being such a prima donna?

View related questions: in the mood, money

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012):

My wife is a pushy person. She keeps asking me what she wants me to do and she can go on for centuries without giving up. She irritates me so much that I shut down and never want to do what she wants. Because if I do it, she will conclude that being pushy is a good thing.

But you said you don't push him. Right? WRONG!

He is your husband. The closest person in the world to you. He has lived with you for a long time. He knows what you expect from him, even if you don't say it. He can interpret your actions, he gets the meaning of your looks. And he is trying to make a point by not doing what you expect.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntI think I would just go ahead and call someone in to fix it. If he says anything at all just give him the look.

I was married to a guy who was just the same. He was just lazy and the house repairs never got done, we were really broke so I couldn't even call people in and often had to either do things myself of rely on friends. It was frustrating and embarrassing.

Call a plumber!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 February 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI live with a procrastinator as well, but I have learned to make it less annoying. First I try and fix it myself, then I call in a person who can & will fix it asap. If hubby doesn't like it, tough.

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