A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello so I dated this guy for about a year. everything was awesome between us for the first few months.his demeanor was always very alpha male. He liked to be in charge. He never liked to go out and party he liked staying in all the time sometimes too much. But the last two months we dated we kept running into the same issues. He had told me that our relationship was perfect but he hated the fact that I wasn't detail oriented and had a bad memory he felt like when he talked to me it came it like I wasnt paying attention. I Will admit I remember important dates and facts when people are talking. but if you were to ask me specifics without sitting down and studying I wouldn't be able to tell you. Because of those flaws he wasn't sexually attracted to me. Therefore we didn't have sex for two months. Sexually frustrated, I broke up with him. Now I hear through his friends he has been going out and heavily drinking. Something he never does as long as all his friends have known him. I'm very confused apart of me wants to reach back out. But the other part of me is confused. He acted like he hated the characteristics that made me who I am and wanted out. Does he care at all or does he geniunely enjoy being out?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 March 2015):
 Ok so you broke up with him (rightfully so)
and now that he's being self-destructive WHY do you want to reel him back into your life?
why is he your problem?
and why are you confused... I am not following your logic as what he does now has no bearing and how you two interacted in the past.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 March 2015):
 Your post encouraged me a lot. If being detaol oriented and having a good memory makes women sexually attractive, then I am golden: I am very detail oriented, and I have an excellent mememory, and that means I always was, am and will be a sex bomb .
Sorry OP, it's not that I want to mock you, it's just that your ex's way to tell you " I am not that into you anymore " was really... creative, shall we say ?
That's BS of course . They have to come up with something when they don't want you anymore, he came up with this.
What do you want to reach out for ? he told you and showed you that he is not that into you; so you'd like to take back someone who's not into you ? And, at least, before he was not a heavy drinker- now he'd be a lukewarm lover AND a heavy drinker too. Not such a great bargain.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 March 2015):
 He lost his sexual attraction because you aren't detail oriented? That sounds like the oddest cop-out I have ever heard.
I'd say let him be. What the point in reaching out? The guy was LOOKING for an excuse to dump you... the "not detail oriented" was the best he could come up with.
So WHAT if he has started to go out and drink with buddies? His life, his choice.
Let him go.
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