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My long distance boyfriend tells me what to do and doesn't want me talking to other men

Tagged as: Long distance, Online dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2015) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2015)
A female Singapore age 30-35, *oss04 writes:

I met my LDR boyfriend online on a dating website, I live in a different country. He wants to meet me next year, now i am not comfortable to have sex before marriage. Now he has forcibly made me delete my account on the website right a month we met. He says I love you, i can't see you speaking to other guys, We made plans that next year he will come to stay with me in my country either by working or studying.

now what confuses me is this, he says if you want gain my trust now that i am away from you, dont talk to other guys online and listen to me. he says i dont want you talking to other men but after we meet up if we fuck, I would feel more comfortable with you talking to them because i know you're all mine now.

he knows i am a virgin, he says he really loves me and wants to marry me. he says i need you to be submissive, dont question me stuff.

View related questions: I love you, long distance

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2015):

Takes one to know one... Especially when someone is so paranoid over you possibly cheating!!

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A female reader, Mvpo81 United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2015):

Omg

No man should have that control over you. You have every right to talk to whoever you want. Sounds like he is emotionally and mentally blackmailing you in to doing something you don't believe in. If he loved you as he said he would respect your decision to wait till your married and he would trust you.

Stay strong

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 March 2015):

eyeswideopen agony auntDid he really say "fuck"? What a romantic.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt means he believes in the right of men to "own" women and tell them what they can do and who they can do it with.

He views you as his property.

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A female reader, Ross04 Singapore +, writes (13 March 2015):

Ross04 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ross04 agony auntwhat does archaic relationship mean ????

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHe says he loves you but he does not. He can't. He's never met you.

You say you are confused but you are not asking a question so what is your question???

this guy is no good. He's bad news. He has not met you and yet he's trying to tell you what you can and cannot do and who you cannot and cannot talk to.

His ideas of relationships are archaic. And to be honest he may NOT be who he says he is... after all you have never met him.

Can you put into words what you are trying to figure out. I do not want to tell you what to do but I want to help you figure out how to ask the question you are afraid to ask which is "is this how men treat women they love?"

the answer is NO.... this is not how a loving man treats his woman.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (13 March 2015):

mystiquek agony auntIf he isn't with you physically then how can he be forcing you to do something? You are ALLOWING him to control you and tell you what to do. Why is that? Food for thought..if he's this controlling over the internet what on earth do you think he would be like in person?? You might want to rethink this relationship. I'd be a little afraid of a man who tells me I need to be submissive.

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A female reader, Ross04 Singapore +, writes (13 March 2015):

Ross04 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ross04 agony aunthe wouldnt trust me, he would keep saying youre so far away, now that we are togther and i wish to marry you. you dont need to be on the website.

he says i dont want you to talk to other guys now. once i come to meet you and we fuck , you can talk to guys cause i know that youre all mine,

he has trust issues. i keep telling him to trust me. he says i love you, but i also am sexually attracted to you cause youre a virgin, i dont want to loose you. he says i wont leave you after we fuck. he plans to marry, he sees me as his wife already.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHe sounds like a controlling psycho. How is it HIS choice who you talk to?

And how did he "make" you delete your account? Did he threaten to end the "relationship"? if so, you should have ended it.

Tell him to go fly a kite you are NOT his property.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (13 March 2015):

What do you mean by forcibly? You've never even met him.

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