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He can't understand I am grieving and sex is the last thing on my mind!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *orenprint writes:

The past six months my Grandfather has been fighting a deadly diease. I was there with him. First 4 months he was at home, so I took the role of nursing him completely. Past 2 months he has been in hospice, and it has been the HARDEST journey for me. When I came home...all I thought about was him.

I've been dating my fiance for 5 years, and the past 6 months I have lost all of my sexdrive because of my grandfather's illness. He tries to sleep with me EVERY night, and it fustrates me. He even tried sleeping with me the day of the funeral, and then makes me feel slamming the door, and sleeping on the couch. I know a man has his needs, but sex is the last thing on my mind, especially since my grandpa just died this week.

Why can't he understand i'm grieving?

What should I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntTalk to him. He might be trying to make you feel better by offering intimacy (sex).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012):

Being suddenly cut off from sex for 6 months is enough to drive most normal guys his age bonkers. But at least a few weeks or months of feeling nonsexual is understandable in your shoes too.

It sounds like your BF has made this into a much bigger mess than it needed to be. His attitude is probably making it worse for you. I think you might have been sleeping with him months ago if he hadn't been such a jerk about it the whole time.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (1 July 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntYour grandfather has just passed away so off course sex is going to be the last thing on your mind. You need him to be there for you emotionally at this time. Tell him how terrible he has made you feel, tell him you are grieving. The last six months must have been very hard for you, and yes am sure it did put pressure on your fiancé as well when it came to your relationship. Reassure him that you still love him and you are still attracted to him but at the moment you are grieving.

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