A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:My bf and I have been together for 2 1/2 years we live together and get along great. All the arguments stopped once we started living together and everything flows great. The one problem we still have, is that he can't seem to feel love for me. Most people would say we should break up. We are I feel almost to a full happy relationship. He did say he cares for me deeply and always wants to keep me smiling and happy. While we were talking I think I realize what the real issue is, he never cares about himself or pays much attention to himself. I know he had a rough childhood, but I think he does not know how to have real emotion. I don't know what we can do as a couple. Everything seems pretty perfect and I think we can have a future we just need to figure out how to help him know what he feels or what he wants. Maybe in just rambling, but if any of this makes sense and you have any suggestions please let me know. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (3 May 2013):
Lovemeright11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question He has never been able to tell me that he loves me, but every time I ask him if he is still wanting to be with me he says yes. I'm starting to think he is with me because he does not want to see me sad if we broke up. I caught a conversation he had with a friend about how he feels its not working and how he thinks I'm only in live with the idea of the relationship and not really him. I don't know why he feels that way, cause if I wanted a fake relationship I would not have chosen to be with him. I don't know what it is that we should do as a couple. On one hand we can be pretty happy on another we have rough moments. I have never tried to force him to love me I want it to be natural. I even asked him about what one of you said, about how maybe he loves in a different way than I do and I'm trying to get him to love in my perspective instead of his own. He said no he does not feel that way.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 April 2013):
 How do you KNOW that he "doesn't feel love for (you) me..."?
Need more info....
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (27 April 2013):
I think you have it very well decribed.Also for a start -One must love and understand onesself before we can Love or understand another person.Very important a child in his own family must have been shown love otherwise he is as a adult unable to respond to love because he does not how.Your boyfriend loves you in his way because he knows no other .Keep talking to him keep loving him keep understanding him and in time hopefully when he understands your love he will be able to return it.Kind Wishes Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): He cares deeply about you, you get along great together and he likes to make you smile and keep you happy.
Has he said he's unhappy? Has he said he wants to feel in love with you? Does he want to feel more or are these feelings you want him to have?
If he is loving towards you and is happy with you I wouldn't worry about the rest. Many people profess to be in love but their actions are not very loving. If he is a great partner for you and if he thinks you are a great partner for him then that's all you need.
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