A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is quite a bit going on at the moment I don't know what to do, but my main objective is to go and see my sister in Oz (who I am quite close to). She moved to the other side of the world last year and so me, my mum and my boyfriend were all planning on going to visit in a months time. I would also like to point out I have saved nearly all of my annual leave up with work since last year so I can be out there for nearly 3 weeks and therefore have not really had any time off for a year so I can take this trip. This will also be the trip of a lifetime for my mum as she would never go somewhere like this by herself. I have saved up to pay for me and my boyfriend to go I am 28 and my boyfriend of 10 yrs is 30. He started his own business nearly a couple of years ago but it has run into money trouble so he doesn't think he can go.If he can't go, I can't see what the problem would be for me to go with my mum but this doesn't seem to be an option for him, he thinks we should cancel the whole thing just because he can't go. Which in turn means all the organising my bosses have done to ensure cover for 3 weeks and the organising my mum has done for her clients to use somewhere else (she is self employed) has gone to waste all because he will miss me too much. I don't know what to tell my mum, I think it would sound pathetic if I told her I can't go just because he can't. Am I being selfish in still wanting to go and see my sister or is he? we have been together for 10 yrs after all so I can't see the problem in him not seeing me for 3 weeks which seems to be the whole reason he wants to cancel. Am I in the wrong or just too weak to stand up for myself?Please help me someone!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanku so much for all of your advice! I am going to try and tell him tonight that I'm gonna book these flights! I have no idea how we ended up like this, maybe I've always been too easy going for my own good so now there's never any real compromise. I have no idea how this is gonna go but I shall keep you posted after all your good advice you have shared! Thanku again! x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): please don't give up on this fantastic opportunity to go and visit ur sister just because of him.. last year i was going to oz to visit family.. the bf couldn't get the time off and yes like ur self i thought about not going.. any way.. i went and i had a fantastic time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): Go on the trip, whats 3 weeks apart? This is a chance in a life time. You would be upsetting more people if you dont go and all your hard work and preperation going to waste just to please 1 person. He maybe insecure about himself right now because of his work but you are not his security blanket, your his girlfriend and you are entitle to your own life aswell as he is his. You were there to support his decision of becoming self employed, which has its ups and downs. He has to accept that there is no day off when yourself employed if you want to make it work. That said he has to accept that you have saved your days up to be able to go and see your sister. Your Mum would be heart broken if she couldnt go. Would you be able to liv with the guilt and not end up resenting your boyfriend?
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 Whut? You should cancel your mother's trip of a lifetime, to see your sister, because you are going to be away from him for THREE WEEKS?
Phhht! Is he for real?
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A
female
reader, DAnverQueen27  +, writes (26 February 2012):
I whole heartedly agree with the first post! Go on the trip, both you and your mum deserve it. Your man can get over it!
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 Go on the trip. He will get over it.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 This is absurd. Your bf obviously thinks he is the centre of the universe, and stars and planets revolve around him. Disabuse him of this notion and go see your sister. If you don't leave , you'd give a huge disappointment to your mother- men can come and go in your life, but you will only have one mom.
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A
female
reader, amandang1208 +, writes (26 February 2012):
 I know it is hard to make this decision. I have been in your shoes before. Go!! It means a lot to you, and it sounds like it means a lot to your sister and your mom too. Any guy that loves you would encourage you to go, and if he doesn't, believe me girl, he is not worth it. Everybody knows, family comes first. If he has any intention on being with you in the long run, he would understand that. If he cannot stand being without you, he would do whatever possible to go with you. There are always ways around things. Good luck! You are in no way selfish! It sounds like to me you have a big heart, which makes you my favorite kind of person. :)
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